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Does IPA stand for “Injury prone arsehole”?

This is the opposite of the Gazza thread - I open it hoping the cunt is dead.

Apparently the sticking point is Ashley wants "house of" written above his name on his shirt.

Fifty two today, fifty one has definitely been a cunt of a year so let's hope this one's better (that's it fucked isn't it?)

Nice bit of guacamole there, though…

You can stick your Elgin Marbles Stick your Elgin Marbles Stick your Elgin Marbles up your arse

'Fuck the Greek civilisation, I don't give a shit' is probably the greatest quote I've ever heard from a footballer.

Look at posh bollocks here, using bog paper as a dust sheet. How the other half lives…

Hello fellow magpies, I've just created a new startup giving fans FREE football wallcharts. Website is www.wallcharts360.com or you can request a full quality version directly using this Request Form. There are 3 Newcastle designs as well as designs for all other 92 football league clubs. They are totally free, unless you want to make a voluntary donation of which 50% goes to the the partner charity Mind, a worthy cause I am sure you would agree. Cheers, Matthew

serve in glass, no bottle.

Large head.

Tasting notes- “ Promising start, but lacks depth with a weak body. Bitter finish.”

Truly a man of the people #britishfishandchips

James Feltons replies are hilarious. We're all out here worried about Covid while Rees Mogg's kids are about to contract Spanish Flu. Your school: We regret to inform you a pupil has been confirmed to have covid Rees Mogg's school: Be warned ye, verily! A child has succumbed to the humours-

Sadly not rope

Absolute scenes next time we play Greece. Fans with daft Murals of Aristotle, launching olives at each other.

You did, you just forget things when you’re nearly a pensioner

Well that backfired on me.

Pay attention lads- if anyone knows about bogs, it’s ewerk.

I hope the media don't let go of this one and force him into a suitably humiliating u-turn and embarrassing meeting with the people whose loved ones may well have died because of his ineptitude.

We booked part of our trip to Oz & NZ a few years back with Trailfinders and they keep sending us brochures that make us cry now we’re fuckin skint and repairing our run down hovel using floorboards 😢

You needed a piss after one pint? You've been down south way too long.

Didn’t even know who the fuck Olly Watkins was

Gallas plus 5m for Ashley Cole's transfer to Chelsea is the only one I can see with a quick look.

Honestly, who gives a fuck how they’re funded and if they’re Marxists or not? They’re not about to corrupt democracy by mass harvesting of data in cahoots with major mainstream political parties & some of the biggest tech corporates on the planet are they?

I’d be fuming at that. What did they catch, Nemo!?

He'd put his name on dog turds if he thought he could get a bit of dosh from it, the fucking dullard.

100% blandness guaranteed.

Kunt! And the gang anyone?

They probably would if they could.

I’m sure I’m not alone in being so surprised to find out that he’s a fucking coward. He should be sent a white feather for every death.

Don't worry mate, you keep scrimping and saving and one of these days you'll be able to afford an inside bog.

Many happy returns to both you GUYS!

Aww schucks, you guys (that's for you HMHM), I'm off to the shed I feel so appreciated!!!

Happy Birthday young ‘un.

@PaddockLad just make sure you use removable bolt hinges so come summer you can get out a couple of saw horses and you've got yourself a decent bbq table!

Newcastle United: Karl Darlow (Mark Gillespie 70), Javier Manquillo, DeAndre Yedlin (Paul Dummett 60), Jamaal Lascelles, Florian Lejuene (Federico Fernández 60), Jacob Murphy (Matt Ritchie 70), Isaac Hayden, Sean Longstaff (Daniel Barlaser 70), Christian Atsu (Ciaran Clark 60), Miguel Almirón (Andy Carroll 60), Allan Saint-Maximin (Henri Saivet 75)

He seems alright to me.

Nothing says ambition like plundering relegated clubs.

I'm far from wanting to see the back of Ritchie but if we got Wilson in as part of it and then got Frazer in on a free that would represent good business for a club as shit as us.

Sounds like a discount tennis racket brand.

Yeh fam, she peng innit blud?

Can I just point out a z4, cr-v or pickup truck are not projects unless you actually ground up restored them or modified the fuck out of them.

Got this as part of a record club by Hobbledehoy records, brilliant stuff.