Leaderboard

"Well diary, long time no see, ah was just about to set off for graft as some clever cunt, or so-called clever cunt had intraduc, introjuice, err brought in social distancing into Thomson house and we all had to go back after dialling it in through the lockdown until ah mentioned us all bunching up as we all started together so ah managed to get staggered starts so ah was still in the house when me batphone rang. "Hello, Lee Ryder, award winning sports journalist, Newcastle chronicle, speak to me." It was pigeon chest Campbell. "Alreet, Lee? We were ah'll on WhatsApp yesterday and we're gannin to Benidorm on Tuesday. Ah'll the lads are up for it, last minute but are you up for it? Mala said he'd ring you but ah seen him this morning in the toon getting a new phone, he dropped his old one doon the bog so ah said ahe'd phone you instead." Fucking get in, ah thought. Ah could do with a lads piss up so was on it quicker than Brucie giving a vague NUFC recollection as a bairn. Ah got into work at half ten and moaned on about the mettees being off again. Ah put me holidays in with Gibbo and then bumped into Mark Douglas who told me that Saint-Maximin had won the Ronny Gill player of the year. The award was always done at the end of the season and it would've been me handing it over this year but ah was going to be full of Cruzcampo in Benidorm with the lads and hopefully balls deep in some lucky senoritas so wouldn't be able to hand it over to the French wing wizard. Mark asked if I was ok to do it and this is what separates the Ryder's from the Douglas's of this world. "Aye, nee bother wor kid, ah'll pick the trophy up when ah go on me dinner today." Douggy asked me why and ah filled him up with some shite about needing a week to psyche mesel up and using the trophy as inspiration. Anyways, ah headed up to the cathedral on the hill on me dinner hour, handed over the award to the Gallic electric eel, Allan whilst getting a piss easy 'over the moon to be here' story and making sure le magnifique froggy swapped his phone number for the chronicle trophy so ah had another toon superstar on tap, up here for thinking, doon there for dancing and yet another example for any budding regional sports journalist of how the fuck to get stuff done! Lol. Anyways, bags to pack, Kamagra to get. Laters."

-background noise- “Ships man, ya daft cunt!”

[fade to black] On a river where they used to build the boats...

“ relative financial stability” Relative to what, the lad selling Big Issues outside the ground?

2023-24, in the conference and now a fan owned club, trouble erupts in the newly formed AFC Sunderland's boardroom meeting at the Windmill pub after buying Bill Brigg from Spennymoor where a few members of the new board go and borrow £2.7m from the bank to buy him after hearing from a mag at work that PL club Newcastle United were about to poach him, despite manager Kevin Ball saying he's only worth a set of strips.

safc recent history, through the medium of origami. crumple, fold, rats from a sinking ship.

He’s spot on, the billionaires will be lining up at a chance to buy a 3rd division club that’s bleeding money, there’s definitely not 2 full divisions of better prospects above them.

They’re getting taken over marra, got to be. They’re gonna be the club “they deserve to be”. Which in my opinion is rotting in league one....or two. Or folding completely. I’m easy.

Announce administration.

I suppose just like Liverpool it’s the best way for their long way to end. No fans in the stadium & another team wins it for them.

You can thank Labour for the Olympics, they won the bid, planned it, funded it. Not just the infrastructure either, they funded sports making us truly competitive for the first time in decades. The conservatives claimed the credit. Two years into Cameron's tenure wasn't long enough for his austerity and xenophobic policies to kick in, we still had a latent feel good factor. Eight years later, I honestly fell the cunts have ruined the country and there is much worse to come.

"Let's face it, Tom, and with all due respect, the Don, rest in peace, was slipping. Could I have gotten to him a year ago?"

Scenes

I dunno like, I can picture you bombing down the streets, ollying over the paramilitary police with your BLM gear on.

I hate Leeds with a passion that sometimes surprises even myself.... now the mackems are a lower league irrelevance it'll be good to have something to get our teeth into...if it's eventually safe to actually go to a fuckin game ever again like

My mate (a mackem) who lives in Leeds deleted all his social media whilst the fireworks were going off. I think he was a bit jealous. Anyway it’s a good away day but other than that Leeds can get to fuck and I hope they’re relegated by March.

Aye, you’re a lucky man not to have left this British utopia.

I think you’ll find it’s the mess he inherited that’s to blame for the injuries

errr....didn't the people of Sunderland have a vote on this about 4 years back? 🤔

All his ex’s (and female former work colleagues) are buried in Texas

Are you mistaking Adrian Durham for someone worth taking any notice of?

"It's the way you tell'em!"

Can't stand the fuckers but it's another big game against another big northern club which is a bit more livelier than games v Brighton, Watford, Bournemouth etc. Nothing against those clubs but, y'knaa.

There’s a lad I know, who’s sound, Leeds fan who works as a coach for their academy. He lives up here and does as much junior coaching in his spare time in the area as he can (voluntarily). And he’s brilliant with the kids. A while back he was on about how good it would be for him and Leeds’ academy if they got promoted because of the extra money / resources they’d have. And I can barely bring myself to feel pleased even just for him

It’s like owning a Victorian five bedroom derelict shell of a house in the arsehole of nowhere and convincing yourself that it’s just as attractive to buyers as the 20 bedroom mansion in Mayfair. ‘They’ll love a fixer upper’.

Yet again they’re getting themselves all excited, he still owns the fucking club. Do they really think whichever idiot he brings in is going to be a mastermind?

I mean the fact that they are making us look good right now says a lot

Maybe he's just really unlucky? Oh....... https://www.themag.co.uk/2020/01/steve-bruce-quotes-saying-exactly-the-same-on-injuries-at-wigan-hull-sunderland-villa-and-sheff-wed-newcastle-united/

Pretty sure Lance Armstrong owns a bike shop there as well, which is why wykiki will want to go. Pay homage to a giant of the sport.

I think they’ve just went to Category A status off the back of promotion being pretty much assured. Whereas, I think we’re not even a letter on the alphabet. Probably just a vague sound like “Pleh” or one big fart noise.

Just watched the 2012 opening ceremony repeat. Feels a lifetime ago and it’s hard to believe it’s just 8 years. I remember being cynical as fuck beforehand - it was doomed to be a massive flop - but ended up being the last time I genuinely felt proud to be British.

tbf a chicken and stuffing sandwich sounds nice, but then again i skipped lunch.

Enjoying the promotion of Leeds is equivalent to the celebrate the return of the bubonic plague.

No, I don't need an excuse to laugh at Miguel Delaney.

Yosemite - Boston, sure you don't want to visit places a little further apart?

I like to think we can take a little bit of credit for that– they’d rather see their club sink without trace than raise a finger because “ it’s what them lot up the road dae”. Too classy.

Seen this footage coming out of America overnight. Blokes in full camouflage, with no identifying markings as to what agency they're from, and driving unmarked rental vehicles, are snatching peaceful protesters up off the street. There is some dark, dark shit going on in America at the minute.