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Paddock Lad absolutely losing it there.

David C. Vigilante. What a name.

I'll just apply the 5 Km rule where the metro centre's concerned.

Trans women ARE women, you smelly pussy TERF cunt.

If they get cold they can pop into the Jolly Sailor to get warmed up. After that they can pop into the boozer next door for a drink

It's a Cold War Steve collage come to life.

Farage leaving LBC with immediate effect. Has this thing just claimed its biggest scalp to date?

On Wallsend High St, but shut down because nobody could find it.

A lot of nostalgia is a yearning for a time and place that never existed beyond people’s imagination

I’ve just shown the current Mrs PL this pic & your comment.....seeing as the image contains the block of flats she lived in when I first met her she’s not very fuckin happy with you chummy

Fuck sake, I need a new username, then.

Italian bloke rings the docs for a medical, and is asked to bring a specimen with him. “ ‘Ow am I gonna do tha? I don’t know any astronauts!” I Thangew.

People are weird as fuck.

Cross country skiing all the way there for a fight. That is commitment.

If the wider world had any knowledge of you, you’d have been cancelled long ago

32 years ago. Jesus. I fucking hate the place and don't get why anyone north of the Tyne would go there. Newcastle is far better.

If they’d said “I take crack while the child minder buggers my 5 year old” I’d have felt less embarrassed for them

Currently watching a rather bizarre take on what would have been the Diamond League athletics in Oslo, with various semi-exhibition events including Lavillenie taking part in the pole vault via a delayed video link-up from his back garden in France.

This is fucking brutally cringeworthy.

True like. You make one little comment about how autistic girls are being tricked into transitioning and suddenly there's a #WeAreNotConfused hashtag full of actual autistic trans people telling you you're wrong, based solely on [checks notes] their own lived experience. Everyone's so sensitive these days.

there's an undeniable distinction between sex and gender. rowling is spot on tbf. not only that, the way she expresses her opinion is reasoned, thoughtful and considerate - unlike the twitter keyboard warriors. some of the abuse she's received is vile.

"ring of steel" https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8409331/Statue-Scouts-founder-Lord-Baden-Powell-REMOVED-seafront.html disappointed not to see some of the Gammon among my acquaintances not taking the opportunity to get themselves on to the mail online lead story, contrary to the threats they were making on Facebook this morning to protect to the death a statue of a widely rumoured paedo that's been there little more than a decade

Easy rule of thumb: Linehan's on her side, which means she's wrong.

Some councillor on twitter saying they've just received all of the posters and leaflets from central govt, ready for Monday, all of which stipulate the 2m rule. I think we all know what's coming before Monday.

I hushed up the fact that I live in Lewisham or they wouldn't have let me near the place.

I’m not sure it gets much more metropolitan elite than that.

You've just reminded me that one of my more tangential celebrity encounters is having had a G&T in one of the House of Lords bars while Betty Boothroyd was sat at the next table over. Sadly I was still a massive pisshead at the time so I don't remember a great deal about it beyond that. (Much like most of the Lords really.) Defiinitely the cheapest round in London anyway.

"There are very fine people on both sides."

There was someone on twitter yesterday posting about King Leopold of Belgium, who has now been canceled. He was saying that one of the worst things he's seen was a pic of a bloke in the Congo holding his 5 year old daughter's amputated hand and foot, courtesy of the King. Some absolute Jeremy Clarkson had responded arguing that that was fine cos he was a "man of his times". Like mutilating 5 year olds was just fine 120 years ago.

If WWE can forgive Chris Benoit for murdering his wife and child in a concussion and steroid induced rage, surely we can forgive comedians using the language of their day

It’s about as easy to understand as someone being prepared to wait in a mile long queue for McDonald’s

Pick your favourite contradiction. The importance of exercising in the fresh air has been reiterated throughout this, but it's also fine to have mile-long queues of cars with their engines idling while they wait for their Big Mac and fries. I like that one.

It's not even the week - it was saying the lockdown was starting on Monday and allowing pubs to have the Friday night - even that icing on the cake stupidity probably killed thousands.

EVERYONE'S RIGHT IN RAYVINLAND!

I agree with most of this. But I'm fucked if I'm getting the virus then just blaming the government for me & possibly others getting it. I work in doctors' surgeries with Red areas every day, I'm sitting directly below one now. None of the staff here has come down with it because there's a clinical lead setting the rules. The country however is led by a buffoon who was too utterly fuckin useless to avoid catching it himself in an office environment . I'll make my own decisions on what's safe & what's not. It's just the way I see it. The example set by the government has been beyond abysmal, but any of us with a bit of common sense know that mass gatherings are a bad idea at the moment given the absence of anti virals or a vaccine.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-52993734 And yet we only began quarantining arrival from abroad *checks notes*... two days ago.

Well I'm not sure. Not often I disagree PL but I do here. It makes little sense to compare what Cummings did with a collective. But what Cummings did as an individual was probably worse than what the huge majority of individual protesters did at the weekend. He travelled hundreds of miles with symptoms at the PEAK of infection. And of course, he refused to apologise, lied through his teeth, and got the government including the health secretary and the attorney general to back him that his actions were acceptable. This has caused me and probably millions of others to completely lose whatever tiny bit of faith I had in the government, including some protesters, I imagine. To the extent I do not trust them on anything and will not be part of track and trace. Common sense for me from now on. I would say this was much, much more damaging than a few thousand protesters letting off steam in an outside environment. And Hannon is a total cunt who is always wrong.

Joey Barton has been playing with them like a bouncy ball again

A Portsmouth vs Fleetwood playoff final would be just the job now. Their tiny brains would explode trying to work out who they want to go up least.

Advice on racism from an Aussie. Well I never...

As for removing comedy that is offensive by today’s standards, I can see the argument but I think it’s generally more important to leave things like that in view as an education tool. I’m not saying we should have Little Britain replayed at prime time on a Friday night but culture moves and is defined by the reactions to what has went before it. Learning why those things were offensive and learning how to be better in the future is a far more important way to live life than burying your head in the sand and pretending you’ve been woke all along. Like, yes, Apu in The Simpsons was a heavily stereotypical character but if anyone says they actually never laughed at the episode where Homer works in the Kwik-e-Mart because they knew it was racist all along is doing more harm than good and is as blinkered as the turbo PC Police.

thanks for the mammaries

For some reason the film Grease was discussed on 5 live this morning. Apparently a lot of people want it banned. Not because it doesn't feature any black characters, but because Danny gropes sandy at the drive through! FFS! Be afraid @Monkeys Fist, your days of letching are gonna catch up with you!

Woah woah woah- are you telling me the lads in Father Ted weren’t real priests? Down with this sort of thing.

At least as they hurtle down through the leagues, they’ll be able to look back up with smiles and think of all the friends they’ve made on the way