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His predictions are crepe

The cables. The smart meter. The Oak Furniture Land monstrosity. I bet the wife was watching Attenborough thinking "I'd like to be eaten by that lion. It would at least be quick."

Turn it over, and there’s not an apple on the back, chuck it in the bin.

The academy of light Between them, Sunderland’s under-18 and under-23 teams have a record this season of P34 W0 L 33 and a goal difference of -99.

Bullard looks like he should have been an extra on Confessions of a Window Cleaner. Him and that guy who presents Soccer AM are twats who've failed to realise that 90's lad culture died a long time ago.

Don’t go for a walk at Marsden, then.

Not to pile on but your waist size isn't supposed to equal your screen size.

I'd actually been thinking this might be the perfect time for me and the fella to finally tie the knot. "Sorry everyone, couldn't have anyone there except us and the witnesses, such a shame"

CT's a daily mail stereotype, but not the one he wants to be. He's the charva in poverty, claiming state benefits, even getting the government to pay for his weight loss schemes, yet has a massive fuck off flat screen telly. Someone should report him to the paper.

Also your cooking is shit

Aye, don’t get me wrong, I think the small indie places are still very perilous as far as surviving this goes, but they seem to have responded to the challenge very well. The Free Trade, for example, were instrumental in setting up a “buy now eat later” voucher system for the street food vendors who come to their pub on a regular basis- all whilst they themselves were struggling to see how they’d survive. That kind of attitude fosters a very sound community spirit between the businesses and the punters, which I’m not seeing from the larger businesses. Still no guarantees though.

Gnat West was my favourite

I mean, he’s even got the hair

The thing with stupid people is, they are so stupid they don't know that they're stupid.

The problem with testing is that instead of using the offers coming in from university, research and local labs to help out under the control of PHE the tories outsourced them to a private company with one their fucking mates on the board and then didn't even insist that the results would be returned to the NHS as the private company want to sell the health data to america. Every question has the same answer - "because they're cunts".

When they sponsored Blyth in the 90s they wanted to have “Drink beer. Smoke tabs” as the shirt sponsor

About 1:55 in if you don’t know what I’m on about

Most of the mail comments aren’t even from real accounts.

Funnily enough neither can he since that.

Never get tired of watching it

a war and peace like tale stolen from the athletic, if you can be arsed to read it, prepare for tears to be shed during this harrowing epic, or not perhaps! https://justpaste.it/1zwc6

Staggering prediction.

It's a bit ambiguous too. Are they devoted fans of the lads? Or are they morbidly obese fuckers who are fans of the lads? Or are they fans of massive lads?

It appears that it was originally EU legislation yes. I imagine post Brexit it will be up to employers whether it's kept or not. Either way, he's he's a self serving cunt. And so is Johnson.

Fair play to Coffey though. When the arse fell out of the Mike Neville impersonation business, she could have been forgiven for ending it all. And yet here she is, in government, and working on a new career as a fat Michael Fabricant impersonator.

Looking at the Opinium poll from the weekend, I think there's been a fairly significant swing against the government handling tbf. My mam is a Mail reading Brexiter who won't watch the daily press conferences any more cos she says it's a load of lies, and direct quote "can't understand why anyone would think Johnson is doing a good job". I don't think it's the case that people are buying the bullshit. There'll always be some that are, and they'll populate the online comments sections and twitter. A lot of middle England will know this is a shitshow though, you've only got to look at the figures.

It's pointless man, the brain dead are already lapping it up. It's the fault of the WHO, China, remainers, the left, the NHS, anyone except those actually in power. I was reading the Mail earlier today and the comments are broadly "I'm sick of people criticising the government, these care homes were privately owned so the buck stops with the owners", and "send the young back to work, we need our pensions", and "where were these so called experts when the pandemic was unfolding?! hindsight is easy!!". I now have very strong feelings about what should be done with these people, that I won't note down here.

Not to pile on, but seriously, at least take a straight photo. Could this be the week that you get the hang of this technology lark? No, it could not.

Fuck you Jimmy Cricket!

Laverne and Shirley might be more apt.

not sure - it was around 80 when they were doing it in spain. the mrs isn't thrilled at the idea. i'm best man so can't really not go. i said look love, it's wedding season, yeah? just think of the english tapas you'll be missing

If he was a Yorkshire man he would be chuffed at saving a load of money not having to invite loads

Also and

“Sunderland stand uncertain in seventh place in the third tier and, if the season ends now, it will be the lowest finishing position in their 141-year history.” Mint.

Reminds me of that George Carlin line, “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

The Blyth / Viz kits are collectors items. Speaking of which, the Billy the Fish comic strip and short-lived cartoon wasn’t that funny by their standards but the advertising hoardings were the best thing about it. ‘Drink Beer’, ‘Smoke Tabs’ etc. My personal favourite was ‘Sleep in a Bed’

Lovely read, that

Negates the whole point of doing it on the cheap, but on the other hand, monster costumes. Tough call.

Every time I hear that phrase I burst out laughing. "I'm a massive lad's fan". I mean, it has to be the gayest thing ever, not something you would usually associate with a third tier team in a post-industrial shit tip.

Brian Cox has been warning for some time that the next step is to blame the scientists. He wants complete transparency in political decision making, the same as it is in science. He's right but he can dream on. Anyway, I thought we had had enough of experts. Common sense is all you need. How the fuck they have the brass neck to blame experts now is fucking ridiculous. Like you I don't think the deflection will work this time in the end. 63,000 excess deaths so far, Nd still hundreds more every day.

Therese Coffey has wandered in from The Shire to announce that "If the science was wrong, then the advice at the time was wrong. I'm not surprised if people will then think we made a wrong decision." It wasn't our faults sir, the big boffin boys made us do it. Fuck off Bilbo.

To be fair, a few of their own MLF's snubbed Sunderland to go to South Shields so they can hardly hold it against a forrin lad.

feyenoord mackems will not like that.

Fucking rotten isn’t it?