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I think we suffer from reverse Graucho Marx syndrome. We wonder why anyone would want to join a forum that would have us as members.

Went for our usual walk on Saturday, but earlier/later than normal, about midday. Lots of people out, fair dos, they were just doing the same as us. Two lads in their twenties approached, we stopped but couldn’t go into road because of traffic. They continued to get closer when one of them gobbed on to the pavement about six feet away from us, before they walked past within a couple of feet of us This comes after I was wandering down towards my gaff with headphones in a couple of weeks ago and two grey tracksuit wearing twats cycled past me on the pavement. I was listening to the most recent tome in the Trainspotting series of novels and suddenly I was giving it my best Begbie; “FUCKIN TWO METRES YOU CUNTS!” which I immediately regretted as they stopped up ahead and started staring at me... I crossed the road and carried on, still half a mile from home...they circled in the road up ahead, then disappeared over the brow of the hill...I got up there and they were stopped chatting to some other cunt, by this time I was on the lookout for bits of wood or even a fuckin traffic cone to use as weapons.. I passed them on the other side of the road again, thinking if this was where it would all end, and I hadn’t even seen who the Saudi’s marquee signing would be....eventually they passed again, but didn’t look back, shooting through the red lights at the cross roads at the bottom of the hill... I’m never listening to a fuckin Irvine Welsh novel again...

saloon doors open. music stops TT regulars turn and glare you ain't from around here, are you boy?

There's your new stadium branding, The Aramco Mohammed Shed @ SJP

They hard cunts, or so-called hard cunts, obviously didnae fancy a square go with Paddock lad. They shite'in cunts, more like.

Get tae fucking fuck

https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/what-if-short-wanted-to-return.1515879/ "Ellis Short, please come back, all is forgiven!!"

oh ill accept it then didnt realise it was a forum newbie initiation 😂 thanks @Dougle i really feel part of the chat now, just to avoid any confusion, im also a male so no private messages asking for nudes lads 😑😂

Fuck them, then. 11am. 2 minutes silence on your back door step. 3pm. Back scuttle the Mrs. whilst shouting “ “If one has to submit, it is wasteful not to do so with the best grace possible.” 4pm. Beer and pies 6pm. More Beer and Pies. Probably naked by now. 9pm. Set up the decks and treat the street to some banging Blue Monkey mixes.

On that forum he ran where there were about four active posters he was at least two of them and would start threads then answer them using a different login.

Sad that, great tweet from Cornwell. Saw them once at Glastonbury early on a Sunday afternoon. Considering their early slot they were brilliant, he definitely made them different to any other band. Also, from his wiki: He was born in the south coast seaside resort of Brighton. Prior to the Stranglers, Greenfield played in local progressive rock band 'Rusty Butler'.[3] “Rusty Butler “ is the new greatest band name ever

"It wouldn't surprise me if he did."......(come back). It might not surprise John Marra, MLF, FTM etc but it would surprise everybody else, not least Short's accountants.

Most fickle fan base in football surely? The hate for Short, then the waves of emotional love for The Don and Charlie, who they now hate, to reminiscing wistfully about Short. Deluding themselves into thinking some bloke who got his fingers burnt to the tune of best part of a quarter of a billion quid would return. Next level 100%.

That’s a whole new level of delusion. I bet Short shudders every time he hears mention of the place

'So where are you taking me tonight, honey? Dinner? Cinema? Concert?' 'Well, there's these fellas with a shit load of Coke bottles and a multi-pack of Mentos...'

“Remember he is a fan” That club cost him a fucking fortune. So they want the bloke to come back and bankroll them right out his pocket, again. That’s exactly what they accuse United fans of wanting Ashley to do if we say the club should spend what it generates. They ripped into our lot when we were all saying these two were a pair of chancers. Best get used to them as the Don will own them for yonks.

"Hey bawbag! Are youse 2 metres away from me? Eh? Wide cunt." The rhetorical question. The stock in trade weapon ay burds and PL.

Well Jamie vardy is in it and he won the league a few years ago, his team are sitting third as it stands. It's total fucking nonsense.

doss cunt

They can do what they want with offices and pavements and introduce all the tracing in the world but am I fuck getting on a packed train anytime soon.

Then GingerQuiff pipes up “you sure got a pretty mouth boy”

Right lads, shake hands and move on or I’ll delete the forum and start a new one just for the Saudi lads.

Philistine, Bale, Pogba....we can sign who we want with these lads money.

Daft cunt next door to me gets out every week braying a saucepan with his wife and kid, then the very next day has people round for his birthday. You're in your 30s, you cunt, can you not miss a fucking birthday party? Fanny.

Aye, it’s well known they’ll peck at anything a similar size to a grain of rice, too. Best wait a day or two until you’ve lost interest in them, used them as a pizza topping, and bought a coal powered tricycle or something.

Decorate your house red, white and blue. Fucking amateurs, half the houses over here do it all year round.

Magedia strikes again.

I’m just going to come out with it- what is Leazesmags current twitter account? I know he’s had loads, talking to himself via them.

Opposite of a massive lads fan in every respect

https://www.football365.com/news/back-septemvber-coronavirus-anonymous-footballer A somewhat-cynical view from a current player but it’s hard to argue with a lot of what he says i.e. the Premier League will rush it back to stop the whole game collapsing.

Hahah i wonder what he thinks of the new owners

im going to forgive you for that totally wrong assumption! 😑😑🤔 Im a Newcastle fan! I was just interested to see what the people thought about that as it was mentioned in a youtube video i was watching...

MotD has a 'best player to not play for the top 6' thing. Where do you even start on it? Gary Speed and David Batty are on it despite playing for top 6 sides, us, Leeds and Blackburn. (Maybe Everton?). Ian Wright's comment on Speed? Couldn't believe he never played for a top 6 side. He's got a point, can't believe he didn't play for 3rd division Man City instead of champions Leeds and European placed NUFC. Rob Lee isn't on the list which by my reckoning is correct, he clearly played for a top 6 side, by their reckoning we're not a top 6 side so how the fuck Jay Jay Okacha and Tim Cahill for example are above him defies belief. I know it's only a bit of fun, but ha'way man.

This week lads hopefully

Leazes Park is a fucking dump these days anyway. Took the bairn there last year and it was full of tramps boozing, the kiddies park was burnt out and the building on the edge of it was derelict. The Saudi’s could do worse than redeveloping it as their first project in the city

Lads we might be the richest club on planet Earth in a couple of weeks so let’s not fight. Unless some insults our glorious Crown Prince. Then we fight.

Leazes once replied to my mate with a massive tirade about Toontastic out of nowhere It went over about 8 tweets.

although,

Three seasons, have you forgotten 1987, marra? (I haven't).

It’s just Jakehead IPA but they made it racist. One for sorrow....

If I ever invent a time machine I’m having the Luftwaffe visit that grade one listed bollocks

Aye, fingers crossed for you. It’s no laughing matter at your age.