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I've spent many a workday researching CHAPS.

So this is going to be the week when CT can rightly say he is getting the hang of this bin lark?

I’d be absolutely delighted with Benitez or Pochettino. I appreciate that Pochettino has never won a trophy as a manager but he has managed Espanyol, Southampton and Spurs. Would you have expected him to win a trophy at any of those clubs? Arguably Spurs but, when you consider Spurs wage structure and transfer spend, they are miles behind most of the rest of the top six. Getting Spurs to the CL final is an unbeleivable achievement. I also think he comes across as being a decent bloke and he seems to get the best out of his players. We’d be lucky as fuck to get him.

If there’s one club in the world who can be the richest club by a fucking mile for a number of years and win fuck all it’s us.

I want Rafa back. But honestly wouldn’t turn my nose up at any of the people mentioned here. Our current manager is Steve Bruce

The weatherspoons owner is one person I would never tire of punching in the face.

Found this while looking through some old photos

I don't even think we should feel bad for Bruce. He dropped Sheff Wed immediately, demonstrating zero loyalty to his projects, came here and played the worst football we've ever seen - and he's still going to be financially sorted as they'll have to pay him off. It's not like he was ever going to win anything here, or even had a project. If anything, the fact that they're buying in now and jettisoning him will mean he'll get another job at a reasonable level since he hasn't stuck around long enough for things to go sour here.

Do you think we should get this bloke?

My grandmother ran the post office in a tiny hamlet in the Cheviots called Hownam during the war...as part of the role she was a sort of semi official Registrar and had access to all Parish records. Being Parish records they were officiated by the Scottish Kirk (church of Scotland) and apparently one of my Grandfather's favourite pass times on cold,dark Scottish winter evenings was to open a bottle of whisky and go through the books and see who he knew from the area that had BASTARD written in the “father” column, which was the practice of Scottish parish Ministers right up until the early 1909s

http://www.true-faith.co.uk/__trashed/ This is very much worth a read.

Allardyce

4 months ago we had Liverpool nailed on to win the title, Steve Bruce as manager, and no real hope of getting rid of Ashley as owner. Now we might see Liverpool’s title voided, a sovereign wealth fund that are planning to overhaul the club buying us, and we’re arguing about if we’d take Pochettino as manager.

Was this arranged before his bastard* was delivered at some point this morning? * enjoying Bernard Cornwell’s “Last Kingdom” as a lockdown read, finding myself regularly slipping into the Anglo Saxon vernacular of 1100 years ago

And now, I get battered by the 5 people I quoted YAAAAAAAAAAAAAyyyyy.

I’m not counting any chickens until there’s one half burnt on a glittery bench with a cherry tomato up its jacksy.

Aye, we better not get anyone who hasn't won a trophy. We don't want this recent spell of trophy success to end.

The entire places are toilets so I will piss where I stand as usual

I doubt he’d take some sort of bullshit ceremonial/ambassadorial role, glad handing corporate punters....unless it’s literally a place on the board with some sort of responsibility....or maybe just a board title with his only (part time) role to be the first person a prospective signing speaks to from NUFC.... I’d definitely halve him overseeing recruitment in some capacity...

I was on there for about a month 10 years ago and one was wanting to meet me in Durham market square for a fight

You have to love the mackem saying “We’re the mags entire world” in a 264 page thread solely about NUFC which started on Feb 29th.

Taking a team that had qualified once for the Champions League in their history to making them regulars and reaching the final with a net spend of £33m over five seasons?

Aye, the twat is going to take 2 weeks paternity leave isn't he? So since he was elected, only December, thats two 2 week holidays, 3 weeks sickness cover, and 2 weeks paternity. 11 weeks off and we're only just in the second quarter! Tbh that's almost admirable. Gemmill levels of loafing

Another PMQ's without that dithering cunt. Biggest crisis since WW2 and the churchill wannabe is at home with the bastard child sucking on aunty Kuntsberg saggy tits.

The low-key star of that monstrosity is the "pork & egg nuggets". I love how they've just smuggled the phrase in there as if it's definitely a normal thing that people eat all the time.

Beats Netflix.

How many Newcastle fans on Twitter are now going to be spending their day researching whether they're going to use CHAPS or Swift?

What a promise. "Promised myself I'd let myself and my family down horribly on Sunday."

I don’t think he’s in any position to be making stipulations to the buyers tbh.

You mean the one 2.5 weeks before the peak death day?

He was never a left midfielder anymore than you saw active service

I don’t see what this has got to do with Jewish people

They'll have a found vaccine quicker than you can get back from the Wetherspoons toilets.

I fucking love that the debate has moved on to whether a manager who recently got to the champions league final is good enough

i'm actually looking forward to properly following the club - and football more broadly - again. it's been hard work paying much attention the last few years, or to give that much of a fuck. spoken like a true keegan bandwagon jumping glory supporter

Fair play to her, she couldn't even do basic maths a couple of years ago.

After some initial misgivings I've decided not to give a fuck...it's for the best

Aye, I reckon they're both well past their best nowadays.

I’d take Poch like. You could tell how much managing Spurs meant to him, he was on the verge of tears in some interviews. I reckon he would fall in love with the club and fans. He was here for the demolition of Spurs last day of the relegation season too

I think what we need to avoid, should this go ahead, is buying the likes of Kluivert and Owen. Both undeniably great players in the their day but both players who didn't really want to be here or have have the passion to keep playing if they weren't playing for the very top teams. But you cannot say don't sign players from this team or that team. It's all about the attitude of the individual player. We signed Venison from Liverpool back when KK took us up. He'd been at Liverpool when they were kings of the country but he still had the attitude of buying into the project here. I know there are several caveat's in the case of Venison (ie him being local, never a top player at Liverpool and the money in football being very different then) but the point is still valid. And he was an essential part of building a team that would play in Europe and eventually challenge for the title. Having players who are winners is an important ingredient if you ever want to win anything.

Aye. At the start of the season we had Mike Ashley & Steve Bruce. At the end we could be the richest club on the planet with Pochettino. I’ll take it

The pizza itself seems superfluous in all these

That orange cunt across the water is being held to account far more than Johnson & Hancock. Am past caring about Piers Morgan’s motives. No government minister was available for interview today, quel fuckin surprise. Starmer put them on notice last week about the 100k tests and Bungle from Rainbow’s albino brother is back at the despatch box today. Can’t see it making much difference though when 99% of the media are indulging in a programme of mass national distraction.

This shit on the BBC now. "Look Matt Hancock didn't get to 100k tests, but what he has done is galvanise the effort and we'll get to 80k tests instead. Still a tremendous achievement." Hey cunts. Not only has he missed his own target, he's missed a target that is still a fraction of the daily tests that other European countries are doing. Do your fucking jobs and call this out as a massive failure, not a partial success.

*prepares enema*

Nah, it was a Small Indian Civet.

Flat Shite.