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Fuckin mags avvunt gorra nightingale ospital marras.

The worst is yet to come, just wait until Jehovah Witnesses figure out that everyone's at home

Won't be his fault.

I’ve found several apps that can tell you how to get to hospital, for a very reasonable monthly subscription. Yuzacar or Gettabus are mint. £7.99 a month.

Someone send out the Bravado signal for Fish

Is he a former foot soldier of the Toon Army?

As if it’s not bad enough having Corona virus, we’re all going to die in a fucking shed in sunderland. These are the End Times

Apologies if this has already been posted. I'm almost sure it will have been since the article is over a week old but i couldn't believe I hadn't seen it. Operation Cygnus - a 2016 government pandemic testing drill which revealed that the NHS was woefully underprepared, that we would run out of ventilators, would have insufficient PPE, and that people would ignore government warnings. The government refused to publish it because it was "too terrifying" and then apparently failed to act on it whatsoever. At what point has the government actually committed some kind of crime - and I appreciate that the report is pre-Johnson, but seriously, whoever didn't act on this report has absolutely killed people through negligence. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/03/28/exercise-cygnus-uncovered-pandemic-warnings-buried-government/

You’ll go blind

Gemmill v2.0 with built in Bluetooth.

They normally put him in to sleep mode, do their thing, then boot him up again.

Lads just to put your minds at rest, the champ has got his pacemaker appointment in for next week now. Perfect time for a hospital visit, should be absolutely fine.

Amusing video but fake as fuck, those are blatantly not NYC fire trucks. The footage is actually from Jerusalem in 2017.

I knew shit had got real when the Sunderland air show was cancelled. Scary times.

Was it Tony Benn that said something about change. If people want it, they'll have to fight for it. Let's be honest, once the dust has settled, it will all go back to fucking normal.

But it won't be.

Is it OK to say I wish he was dead now?

I’m off to my shed.

Snap!

You can get an ointment for that, mate.

Nah they put a thing that looks like a magnifying glass with no glass in it over the pacemaker site and then just speak to it wirelessly from a laptop. Download reports and all kinds of shit. Then they remote control it to run a test - bit weird cos your heart speeds up at their request. I'm mainly going in cos the battery is on its last legs though, so there'll be a surgery appointment that follows this one, I think. Oh and I'll be driving myself there, DICKHEADS.

In these times of busy schedules and hectic lives it's great to not have to worry about stuff like decisions about what to do in the morning when you get up? Thanks to a groundbreaking IT app I've developed called 'Onebornev'ryminitt', you don't have to worry about a thing. At a competitive £4.99 a month it'll direct you to sites such as 'Scrachyaballs', 'Havvapiss' or even 'Maykacuppa'. Onebornev'ryminitt - Making the decisions so you don't have to.

I just checked and I've got seven sachets of dried yeast in the cupboard with a best before date of May 2017. Any offers?

Go direct to your local bakery. That’s what I did. I just bought a 16kg sack of strong bread flour and have got a fuckload of fresh yeast too. Your twice fried chips sound good - post pics CT style

I agree the social aspect is a concern but on the other hand I gain 2.5 hours a day to spend doing things I like which is another pro.

The England account is now getting in on the full match caper. I actually quite like this nostalgia binge where I can just forget about not having a summer tournament and Newcastle being fucking shite.

I’ve been sat in online meetings all week using Microsoft Teams, thinking “why the fuck have I been travelling all over the North East for meetings for the past 5 years”.

We’ve been lucky it’s COVID, which isn’t airborne, has a fairly low fatality rate and can be protected against using masks and gloves. If the Congo’s Ebola outbreak had travelled we would have been fucked. 90% fatality rate and our PPE shortages would have been catastrophic. The vast majority of nurses and doctors would have abandoned ship I reckon This needs to be a serious wakeup call for the funding of the NHS, infection controls and the welfare system amongst other things

Aye saw this a while ago. The thing is as well, you just know that the Germans did a similar thing, but actually decided to plug all the gaps in their processes. Now they're testing a million a week while we're still making promises to get theee eventually. Imagine what it would be like to live in a country with a competent government ffs.

Don’t worry, it’ll get buried come election time.

You’re not entirely wrong mate, I mostly agree with you, but I fail to see how the it’s the responsibility of PL footballers to cover their colleagues wages, when it should have been the responsibility of their mutual employer. More to the point, I fail to see why people can’t see that they’re being used as outrage sponges to deflect anger away from the Govt’s criminal handling of this crisis.

From the perspective of actually improving the long-standing problems in the country, absolutely. But with the way the political mood is, your average voter doesn't want a revolution. They've had a bellyful of Trump upending every standard and norm this country has held for decades and they want someone who can steady the ship and "return to normalcy." Biden isn't a particularly inspiring candidate, but he would be a pair of safe hands, and would mean an end to the excesses and infringements of the Trump administration, like having family members without security clearance employed in key positions (awkward with Hunter, but whatever), violating the emoluments clause, rejecting traditional allies and sucking up to every two-bit dictator worldwide, pay-to-play at Mar-a-lago, assaults on the free press, and of course Trump's particular rule-by-Twitter-decree style of lunacy. I maintain the same position that I've held for nearly 4 years now - 2016 was a one-time thing, and Trump's base cannot possibly win another election. It actually should never have won an election in the first place, had Hillary run even just a slightly better campaign. Biden's handlers will not make the same glaring mistakes she did, and the phenomenon of 70,000 votes in the Rust Belt tipping an entire election will not happen again.

Get out man

Bloke at the top of my street succumbed to the virus last night. I wanted to let his wife know we were thinking of her, but obviously didn’t want to get too close, since she’s probably got it too. ( brutal reality right there). So I knocked on the door then moved back down the path, and as she opened the door I looked at her and said, “ Plethora” She said, “ Thanks , that means a lot.”

Well people like Susan Sarandon telling people to vote for the green candidate meant their vote was significant in a few states - maybe not enough to change the result but when you consider 77k votes in crucial states actually did decide the result then I wouldnt be surprised if dem non-voters were the deciding factor.