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I'm fixin to get spangled this evening. Your mam, dad and sister are picking me up shortly. Your dad reckons he knows a good dealer, so hopes are high.

this is mint. For some reason I picture them like on Ferris Bueller, out in the convertible, fucking shades on, while you're sat at home like Principal Ed Rooney.

I mean, what’s not to like?!

Look out for the Blue Nissan Note beeping outside your window homie.

Fuck off

Despite my anxiety issues, I really do think science will solve this. There are hundreds or even thousands of labs around the world 100% behind this. Once that's done, long term I can imagine some positives, seriously. Maybe this is the shock the world needs to wake up to the fact we are killing the planet. It could go either way tbh.

I was working through the bands in alphabetical order

It feels like it’s Coldplay

FYP

Managed to split the back of my head on a door this morning. I was in Lewisham hospital A&E getting glued back together again when the news came through of Johnson having coronavirus. The staff there were delighted that he had it! I hate the cunt as much as the next man, but the NHS staff seem to despise him. Still, it gave them a welcome boost in what must be terrible times for them. At least he’s doing something for their morale.

Bet you Laura is shitting it.

No limits. (In answer to MF's 2nd question).

Ooo err!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is London

I've Got A Brand New Combine Harvester?

The main man has already answered. I’m like all 5 chasers rolled into one. The thinnest one.

If only there was an emergency power he could use to force them to start producing essential items needed. Oh aye there is but the stupid CUNT won’t sign it as he said he doesnt need too as many companies are ringing him saying they’re going to produce things, and he doesn’t want to force any nationalization (he then acted as if this wasn’t just a temporary emergency measure, it was as if he signs this they’d just always be forced by the govt). Even if the companies did agree to do it off their own back it would mean there was a bidding war from states on an open market, rather than the alternative which would force them to sell to the fed at cost plus who could then distribute to states. It’s almost as if trying to profiteer and prop up stock market numbers isn’t the right way to manage a pandemic. I would say I feel bad hoping he gets it, but honestly he’s already laughed at the thought of Romney getting it during a fucking live press conference, and through his actions (or lack thereof) putting untold amounts of lives at risk. There are nurses in Mt Sinai hospital in Queens (where this abomination of a person was born) dying from COVID as they’re using fucking bin liners as PPE, and he gives NYC 400 out of the national 20,000 stockpile of ventilators after saying on tv that they’d get what they need and he won’t be accepting anything from China or South Korea.

Aye, at the fourth attempt

WELL FUCK OFF THEN

Do you not just pick up the parcel, remove the packaging, bin it, and wash your hands?

dominic runnings

He’s a proper rascal. He’s probably just stolen a ladies shoes or something.

His period of self isolation will be very much like the election campaign

Didn’t he brag about shaking hands of patients a couple of weeks ago

And you just have to think of the eligible bachelors like myself. Once this ban is lifted, I'll have my pick of the new divorcees and you had better believe I'm going to take advantage of it.

I came here just to post this exact article

Got to be positive?

ZZ Top?

Fairly sure just opening a mothballed factory will present it's own problems. As Isegrim would say, "planning"

The daft bastard

Had it in waves like you. I cant say I am massively worried about getting it. Infact, I could have even had it! I get worried about work, then I am ok, then worried about my old man, then I speak to him and he's in good spirits. I have limited myself on social media etc and tried to keep busy. I am currently on Annual leave so spent most of the day doing jobs in the garden I have been putting off for months. Stick in there Renton.

15/15. Bow down, muthafuckers.

There's not many people I'd wish this on, but if Cummings gets a serious dose of this, karma.

I'm gonna King Ralph this motherfucker. Those daily press conferences just got a whole lot sexier.

You mean a curse, don’t you? You can’t outrun karma.

Absolute fucking scum. I honestly can’t do anything but laugh at this point, they really are tv style bad guys.

11m of the cunts didn't give a shit about the NHS in December.

Lads, instead of being jealous of what a great bloke with a great anus I am, focus on improving yourselves and your own back eyes.

I'll take 3 please