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Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19. Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer-14.

Either that or “yes Gemmill”.

I remember going fucking mental when that Bellamy goal went in.

This line in the BBC report about Prince Jug Ears. ”It's not a huge house but certainly big enough to isolate yourself within it. “ Edit: you are seeing half of it in the pic.

✊️

The union is putting their foot down with our place, thank fuck. The great irony being that I won our “Nominate a Mate” scheme for being diligent in cleaning surfaces etc and the prize is a voucher for a shopping centre where fuck all is open for the next 6 month

They just can’t catch a break

Lads, do you not think Renton has enough work on?

I mean, I dread to think what you can get on the premium edition you can't on the normal?!

Yeah him & Camilla got tested after getting mild symptoms but frontline medics don’t. Fuckin love this country me

Six words and you butchered a third of them.

Someone’s getting desperate for arse wipes.

Get people from Wetherspoons to do their job? Can I just add what a cunt Martin is. Not Meenzer btw. Strange how in these times of national emergency the Brexit loons have turned out to be selfish cunts, isn't it?

I’m getting my head pecked from both sides, from bosses saying the government guidance allows them to keep sites open and loads on site saying they don’t feel comfortable/safe. Measures have been put into place but sites aren’t the most hygienic places in the world at the best of times. My more switched on contractors have shut their sites willingly but I still have 4 sites open and working. Its a shit show tbh

Squires' take on the situation. @PaddockLad you'll know why this is so funny. https://www.theguardian.com/football/ng-interactive/2020/mar/24/david-squires-on-premier-league-managers-under-lockdown

He can't, he has no power over them as long as they're not in violation of federal law. The family and I already left NYC to stay with our in-laws in Pennsylvania, reckoning it'll be safer out here (definitely true, the infection rate in NYC is going nuclear) and also the bairns can actually stretch out and play freely in a proper family house, rather than our third-floor walk-up in the Bronx. I'm teaching from home and the 5-year-old is doing remote learning on the iPad, so all of that seems to be sorted, but I'm worried about my parents. Me dad's restaurant has shut (they don't do delivery) so he's out of work and me mam has a lot of underlying health problems that really would not play well with COVID-19. Things are already bad enough but the moron-in-chief seems determined to make them worse. Dr. Fauci is on the outs and has been replaced by a pathetic dogsbody called Dr. Birx, some joker in a lab coat who would say or do anything Trump told her to. Americans have died from taking "miracle cures" recommended to them by their god-emperor which turned out to (obviously) be fucking fake bullshit. And most worrying of all, the states have postponed a number of primaries and there hangs a vague sort of doubt over whether or not we're going to have an election at all in November. I'm convinced he'd lose - if the country is still a going cornern by then....

Especially since they have a special relationship with all of them. Except Grimsby and Darlington cos they look like mags. FTM!

Be sensible about it. Get a shower and go in their house to check if they are ok. You can still keep 2m away from them and don’t touch anything you don’t have to. Get them a cheap tablet, hook it up to your WiFi and FaceTime them too if needed. You can set the tablet up so that they literally just need to click the green button to answer your call. That’s what we’ve done for my Gran

Ahead of the time tough...

I don't know enough about it, but giving the whole population a vaccine that isn't thoroughly tested at a RCT is how the zombie apocalypse starts in most films

Yep. Probably worth seeking medical advice rather than a random from the internet though. I do have a PhD in pharmacology, but probably from before candersartan was invented. There's an excess of deaths associated with hypertension, but this may be due to ACEIs and ARBs rather than the condition itself. Same with diabetes. Quite fascinating really.

The first part is true but unfortunately the part about Pelosi being in charge isn't quite accurate. She's a member of the House of Representatives and so her term expires every 2 years and she has to get re-elected. Her, Trump's, and Pence's terms all finish on the same day. The next in the line of succession is the Senate president pro tempore whose name I don't know off the top of my head but who is guaranteed to be a Republican, as the role is traditionally given to the oldest sitting Senator from the majority party.

Yeah we are okay. A bit like your lot, our's aren't taking it to serious and the local tories are making a pig's ear of getting the info out. But as of last night we are in phase 2 lockdown, schools are open but pupils don't have to go (state gov overruled the federal cunts), only essential things are meant to be open but somehow that include hairdressers and shops for shit people just don't need.

Me again. Not having a moan or panic but the enormity of my parents situation me today. I think I mentioned they live next door. Both are high risk and have to be shielded for 12 weeks. They have no care support and are obviously frail. Now, before the lock down my sister moved in with them which I thought was a good idea at the time. Somebody to provide company and practical help. But my sister has severe mental health problems (schizophrenia) which are largely controlled, but her drug therapy over the years have left her very frail herself and diabetic. She also got the government at risk letter. So that is 3 members of my immediate childhood family literally quarantined next door, in my childhood house, with no care support. Obviously I can't enter the house. All 3 are completely computer illiterate, can't order stuff online or use Skype etc Even phoning is largely out of the question because of deafness.The only thing I can do to help is buy groceries, but this means buying stuff for 7 people which isn't easy. Honestly, I just can't see how this situation can last 12 weeks without their physical and mental health massively deteriorating. And as you might note, my own anxiety. So what can I do to make things better? Any suggestions?

Does, 'oh dear, I think you've had too much to drink, let me get you an Uber' not ring a bell?

Aye so you wait for the next one and the same thing happens again. And the next one. Go to London! I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway.

Just seen a wife wearing carrier bags over her shoes

I bet your wife won’t believe your GAUL when she finds out the truth.

Great news, everybody!

Anyone had their leadership ballot through?... I've just done mine..... Michael Foot & Dennis Healey dream ticket 👍

I loved the multi-level humour in them, appealing to kids and their parents. Did it years before Pixar

"That pile of literature in the shed? It's all the Asterix books, pet..."

Albert Uderzo, the guy who drew Asterix, broon breed at 92. Loved these comics as a kid, and I’m getting to enjoy them again with my kids.

“I’D RATHER BE A SICKNOTE THAN A CORPSE best regards etc etc “ There was a group call thing yesterday and I’ve found out this morning that the lads were all told “keep attending sites, if you don’t there’s 100s who will” which is utter bullshit considering we’re a week away from TUPE. There’s been very good news this morning too, I’m signed off till mid May and our new employers have confirmed that I’ll be off on full pay because of my health issues in relation to Coronavirus and it won’t actual affect sickness benefits. They’re basically paying my full salary from April 1st

Even his choice of memes is unimaginative