Leaderboard

All you can do is do what you can. Don't forget, your boss is maintaining a line here because he has to. Are they really expecting that there will be no dip in productivity in all this? It's possible, but it's unlikely. But they have to maintain that line to stop people taking the piss. Read the email in that context and then just do the best you can. You are self-evidently not taking the piss and you're not about to start. So just be assured that whatever you can do each day is the best that you can do, and don't stress about the shit that doesn't get done. Zoom out on all of this and you realise that none of this shit matters. The important stuff is what's going on in the hospitals and the people trying to find a vaccine. Everything else is completely irrelevant. Try and remind yourself of this. Seriously, it doesn't matter and its definitely not worth having a breakdown over. Good luck. And I hope this doesn't sound patronising cos I am genuinely concerned about you.

Renton fucking livid. "EH!? HOW IS THIS CUNT GETTING DAYS OFF? Wait til this morning's video call. I'm doing it fucking shirtless."

Ventin' Renton. Sounds like a nickname Trump would give him.

You’re an absolute cunt

“I’D RATHER BE A SICKNOTE THAN A CORPSE best regards etc etc “ There was a group call thing yesterday and I’ve found out this morning that the lads were all told “keep attending sites, if you don’t there’s 100s who will” which is utter bullshit considering we’re a week away from TUPE. There’s been very good news this morning too, I’m signed off till mid May and our new employers have confirmed that I’ll be off on full pay because of my health issues in relation to Coronavirus and it won’t actual affect sickness benefits. They’re basically paying my full salary from April 1st

He's a straight up psycho. Absolutely chilling watching his press conferences. I mean the tories are cunts but I watch Matt Hancock today and I can see he genuinely gives a fuck. If you offered Trump 10 million dead for an election win, he wouldn't think twice.

Ive no idea why, when you’re stood on a platform with hundreds of others and a busy train pulls in, you’d get on it if you can see that this would be the result. Wait for the next one, be late. Your boss may well be a cunt but there is a planet wide emergency on. If you’re self employed and know you’re looking at 3 months with fuck all coming in but you still get on I get that, but you go home at night and infect your missus & kids or even worse an elderly relative then am not sure I could live with myself. None of it at this stage of the game is worth more than your health. Not a fuckin penny.

He's spent all his money on services that tell him when to make soup.

Cheers. Dont be concerned though. Im okay really, just venting as wykiki says. I'm most pissed off about the school thing, but we'll work round that. Agree with everything else in this post. Save your concern for the real frontline staff. They are in for a torrid time.

Well, woke up this morning, got a shower and went to work (the room in my house) turned on my emails, now I am full fucking Radge! I spoke to the main gaffer yesterday who was more than fine me working at home. I got an email around 10 from the other director throwing his weight around asking for me to produce evidence on my sickeness and why I am on that at risk group. He said I need to proiduce comprehensive evidence on what I have done when off and working from home etc. This morning though fuck me. Another cunt of an email. This one at 21:15 AFTER the governments announcement, saying he wants me back in the office basically. Said my recent illness didn't put me at risk. I had to produce evidence I was on meds for it too. I said fine, i shall be in to collect me stuff at the weekend and good luck. Last week the main gaffer sent an email saying we all needed to bunker down and graft hard. Basically stop dicking about etc. Day after 3 workshy fuckers were either off sick or self isolating. Now the cunt is trying to broad brush and make it 'fair' for all. So he's shot himself in the foot. I am off sick and two jobs now won't go out this week. Well done cock nose. I finish in 8 days anyways.

I believe it, even when he was in the mindset of taking advice from the medical professionals for his speech at the weekend he was still saying he won’t mandate nationwide closures as “each state is different” so even though New York, New Jersey, California, Illinois, Washington, etc are shutting down other states don’t give fuck. What is also baffling is how these arrogant pricks don’t understand that if people go out and live normal lives, sacrificing anyone that’s old or compromised, it won’t be long until those in other groups are desperately needing ventilators to stay alive as the hospitals become overwhelmed. What exactly does he think will happen to the economy when that happens? He simply doesn’t give a flying fuck, all he wants is the stock market to be up when it’s election time, outside of that nothing matters. If this doesn’t open people’s eyes to voting in animals like this then nothing will. If he ignores all the medical professionals advice the fall out is going to be fucking horrific, apparently Dr Fauci has been stopped from attending any further press briefings as Trump finally clicked on that Fauci didn’t agree with him.

This is possibly the funniest thing you’ve said in 10 ten years, intentional or not.

I got scared and ran away.

Fuck off

So this is going to be the week when Mike Ashley can rightly say he is getting the hang of this lockdown lark.

Anyone else finding working from home rock solid? I keep rolling into “the office” at about 11am

It’s gentrification on steroids. There is very little original cockney London left. Elephant & Castle is one of the worst examples. What’s happened there is basically social cleansing: the biggest social housing estate in Europe demolished to make away for “affordable housing” (studio flats starting at £400k)

Has anyone seen the clip of the cunt Trump responding to news that Mitt Romney is self-isolation. It's unfucking real. The reporter is reading out the name of senators that are self-isolating and Trump stops him and says "Did you say Romney....... Gee..... That's too bad." Honestly, this bloke doesn't have a single redeeming feature.

Great news, everybody!

Run update for @trooper Just did a couple of laps of peckham rye and it looks like people have taken notice this time. A few runners and dog walkers out there but only in ones or twos

"That pile of literature in the shed? It's all the Asterix books, pet..."

Albert Uderzo, the guy who drew Asterix, broon breed at 92. Loved these comics as a kid, and I’m getting to enjoy them again with my kids.

Aye well you're not there today though are you?! CUNT!

Even his choice of memes is unimaginative

I finished early. 5/7.

He should buy some new fucking plates, the manky bastard.

'I would just like to clarify that when I clearly stated last night that all shops would remain open that I obviously meant that all shops would be completely shut.'

It's blatant profiteering. He clearly reckons that if all the rest of the high street are closed then it's going to increase footfall into his shops as people look for any excuse to get out of the house.

Am I doing this right?

I bet your wife won’t believe your GAUL when she finds out the truth.

Anyone had their leadership ballot through?... I've just done mine..... Michael Foot & Dennis Healey dream ticket 👍

The current Mrs PL has been told that she’s not to go back to work till the end of May on 80% of wages. I’d say it’s been a good morning in lots of ways, but that can only be truly assessed at the end of May

Talk about an Impedimenta.

20/20

I mean I’m literally working on the COVID-19 response across government and we’re being given leeway over productivity due to our decision not to send the kids to school and the logistics of wfh, etc. The lack of perspective from some employers is fucking staggering

Ugh, hope he ends up fine. Sounds like your place is run by unspeakable cunts.

We’re going through a TUPE Process at the moment. One lad Ken is 65 later this year and at the turn if the year he decided it wasn’t worth the grief and he’d retire at the point we change to the new new employer ie a week today. Email he sent yesterday...

Agreed. Although it’s obvious you don’t have kids

I mean, I don't want to be the wfh police but fuck me, give me this over having to get on packed tubes or sit next to some cunt who doesn't wash his hands cos "it's MY fucking knob I've touched!" If you're still getting a wage, you've hit the corona lottery. If you're still getting a wage AND getting to do it from home, you're a big time rollover winner.

Sturgeon is the least sexy woman under 60 in Western Europe It’s being widely suggested that she set all this up. If true you’d hope that would finish them as a force in politics but a lot of the fuckers up there are just as swivel eyed as any Faragist. My old man saw their rise before he died a couple of years back...he always said “don’t trust them...don’t trust anything with Nationlist in its name, fuckin anywhere”...