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I may have also lost my shit with a few people and ranted this morning: ‘As a friend drove through Newcastle last night they reported back that the bars and pubs were absolutely heaving with people. I know of at least 2 places that were having “final fling” nights in their pub. The pubs I passed on my way to work were full at 7pm. “One last pint!” “Best go out while we can!” “Ahhh I’m fine man, it’s being blown out of all proportion!” Did you have a good night? Bit tender this morning? Well I hope that pint was worth it. In a couple of weeks time when someone you love is battling for their life on a ventilator, being given 24/7 care by my colleagues in a department that will have to spill over into a makeshift Intensive Care Unit in the back of Recovery, and you’re praying to a God you don’t even believe in; I hope to the same God that it was truly worth it. And if they don’t win that battle, and they become another statistic in this horrendous nightmare that hasn’t even scratched the surface for us here in the North East, don’t DARE suggest that we should’ve done more to help them. You selfish pricks.’

Me, pretty much ever since the Brexit referendum/Trump clusterfuck:

Spoilers ffs.

Now you tell me! Bloody hell woman. Seriously though, I agree with your rant about people not taking it seriously, and the importance of social distancing etc. I was trying to explain it to a bloke in the pub last night but he wasn’t having it. Idiot.

Me and my mates are all watching the 4-4 on YouTube in a video chat and drinking, aye

I’d like to put myself forward for nomination. I have the necessary skills: - a phd in bullshit artistry - well suited to spinning propaganda after long career in MSM - pragmatic, with a long history of forging consensus on issues as diverse as Viana’s inability to play as defensive midfielder to why Sargon of Akkad lives in his mother’s basement. Plus when the entire transport network shuts down, I can travel to important meetings across the capital via hoverboard. Vote Gloom for a brighter future.

I'm not dead...

In late March? I thought I was lazy.

Lovenkrands and Leon Best up front. A 40 year old Sol Campbell, Shane Ferguson and Nile Ranger on the bench. It’s a mystery how we didn’t take all three points.

Tbf the kid doesn’t even enjoy coke. He’s just concerned about the financial impact it’ll have on his dealer if he stops doing it

Can’t say I’m enthused about Gemmill’s leadership when the bloke needs to pay a robot to tell him how to eat.

Myyyyyyy nigga.

I think we should exclude the Southern Shandies and here’s why.… When, in two weeks, they’re all lying in tent hospitals coughing their lungs up, surrounded by mountains of dead bodies, they’re not going to be logging on here and providing calm, sensible leadership and support to our more fragile bed-wetters, are they? Meanwhile, we homeboys will be strolling around our desolate moorlands, fit as butcher’s dogs and bog roll billionaires. Vote Fist - United Through Tits.

Christ I’m bored. One thing that’s really disappointed me throughout this entire thing is that at no point have supermarkets started selling Corona beer cheap. Its just left to rot.

We’re a football based message board. Not the fucking COBRA committee.

I think the only appropriate word at the moment is ‘surreal’ 😕 It’s not made itself visible up here yet like it has in London which is now at full capacity for Covid patients on ventilation in Intensive Care. My place is eerily peaceful with an underlying sense of foreboding doom. We know it’s going to come but we just don’t know when and we can have as many meetings, flowcharts and hastily-thrown-together guidelines as you like but when the shit hits the fan we’re just going to do what we can with what we’ve got and hope to fuck that it’s enough. We’re busy turning one of our theatre recovery rooms into a makeshift ITU for when they’re at capacity and anaesthetic staff will need to staff it as we postpone routine surgery. I have a constant sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach and I’m shitting myself. Which is unfortunate given the bog roll situation.

And how many virtual workers have you made redundant with your virtual automation? You capitalist pig.

They aren’t, they’re just not telling anyone.

Contract the coronavirus

I forgot this was when it was called sportsdirect.com @ at St James’ Park, just saw the branding of that on the advert hoarding, what a load of tripe that is, further reminder in one of our most exciting games in recent times of how much of a cunt Ashley is.

Hopefully this will all be taken into consideration and they’ll have a transition period. This whole thing is really tough on kids in general when they’re trying to make sense of it and the parents are trying not to panic themselves. Given that I live with Sheldon from TBBT, he’s pretty chilled about the whole thing and regularly asks for updates from work which I think is helpful for him to process things.

Speak for yourself 🙄

The philosopher with the beard must have a good dealer.

Fuck off.

for that you will need to tune into my online video stream of me in the mix, dropping dance floor bangers to an empty room - nothing new there

Nice one, we’re all going to need a good laugh

Byker sands is lovely in July.

alex is going to have kittens when he sees this

Nerds.

Netflix, load of shite. Amazon, load of shite. BBC iPlayer, not much better. Happy viewing!

Can we somehow arrange for you both to have the last word?

One more mini-rant before we all become too nice. In my work I'm under no illusions that I'm creative or original - I'm not bad and better than most who claim to be good but what I am excellent at is taking something that works and adapting it to what's needed at the time and to meet requirements. Now looking at all those graphs am I the only person who screams "Copy South Korea!!" at the TV/screen/phone? Okay we might not be am identical country and they might be more "obedient" as a people but fucking hell the difference is so blatant there must be fucking something we can learn?

The back pedalling from these cunts is spectacular. Coronavirus: Hotel made staff homeless in 'admin error' https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-51972372

They don't. #ClassicAnt

3 months in the Costa del Backgarden.

Anyone got any plans?

I mean..... Stupid question.

I was called pathetic earlier for suggesting people should have stayed away from the pub as thousands are now out of work because of it. Conversely, people have been so unbelievably kind too. I popped to Sainsbury’s on my way home from work yesterday morning and an older lady must have clocked my lanyard and told me if there was any shopping I couldn’t get that she would get it for me on one of the OAP early opening days 😆

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. I hereby decree that something must be done.

That’s the attitude to have. Poor little fella.

Me, I wonder? I'd like to make the point Gemmill's right, you need to stay positive and make time to take your mind off this situation, but burying your head in the sand absolutely does not help. Look back to the start of this thread, which was just a few weeks ago. I said hundreds of thousands would die and we'd face economic collapse. That was based on what had happened elsewhere, and simple maths. You were in complete denial. Exactly a week ago, myself and others warned the government's strategy was catastrophic. For that i was called a fanny, amd randomly abused by one poster. You told me to log off. But we were right. I don't want to be a Cassandra and i take less than zero pleasure in saying"I told you so". I find this place quite therapeutic and a place to vent, and laugh. But if I'm annoying people to this extent, if people want to censor reality, then i guess i will give it a break.

You're right, but by the same token I find the ignorance on display by some of the older generation to be genuinely annoying, so that is going to drive people to say shit about it. My mam is 70. She has underlying health conditions. She's in the house, doing what she's supposed to be doing. There are other people in her position that, up until last night, were sat in the pub talking about the blitz spirit and when your number's up, your number's up. If my mam ends up catching it, she could be vying for a ventilator with one of the pub crew. At which point their when your number's up patter will evaporate. You're absolutely right that we all need to be nicer to one another, but people need to start acting like members of society and not selfish arseholes who don't see why this should change their lives one bit. I absolutely want us to be all in this together, because that's the quickest and surest way to make it fuck off. But as things stand, we're not all in it together, and the people putting others at risk can expect some backlash for it.

Assassins Creed Odyssey. Fucking huge map, Ancient Greece, with a Discovery Tour option so the nippers can tear about and stealthily learn something.