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The worlds landscape will be changed for the next decade. America will have it ten times worse than us too. It can go 2 ways though, either we pull together like we did following WW2, or the Cummings and the like use this as an excuse to ramp up control of the masses permanently. Good luck to everyone on here, I hope most of us survive relatively unscathed both medically and financially

I have to clarify that I meant to quote Alex's post and didn't I'm not over the moon that someone died.

Finally a chance for Stevie to watch it in full.

Fair play

As a positive aside, this has helped me realise that my deep set anxieties and depressions are not based in day-to-day living but are actually steeped in great existential crises and the very nature of the unanswerable weighing down my every day thought process. I’ve spent sleepless nights worrying about untimely ends, the big questions and the weight and importance of the community of friends and family we surround ourselves with and when you see those things threatened, as they are now, it’s soothing to know that, even in my depths, when I can’t actually function for a racing mind, I’ve never attempted to deal with those difficult questions by panic buying shit tickets and tins of peas. These fucking idiots have made me feel a lot better about my specific brain issues and I thank them.

Picked a good year for the battery on the old pacemaker to run out. Need a replacement in the next 3 to 6 months. 😬

It'll last as long as people aren't dickheads about it. I've been running so wide around people on my runs that you can actually see the curves on Strava. Someone'll spoil it for everyone though, they always do.

That’s the blitz spirit; act like a cunt and complain about the foreigners.

A small plane runs into difficulty and there's only Trump, Johnson, a couple of school kids and Jeremy Corbyn on it. They're told there's only three parachutes to be had. Straight away Trump says he's not only the president but the brightest man in his country and needs to survive and picks one up and jumps. Johnson watches him and also states he's the PM and a product of the British institution of Eton, therefore one of the greatest thinkers in the United Kingdom and must prevail, he then grabs the second and leaps to freedom and safety. Corbyn looks at the two kids, sighs and says he's had a decent life, is getting on a bit and insists the kids use the remaining parachute and he'll strap the kids together. The kids tell him that it's ok, there's still three parachutes as the brightest man in America and the greatest thinker in the the United Kingdom both grabbed their school bags.

This is as big as WW2. Bigger in some ways. I mean at least then you could go to the pub, cafe, or have a bite to eat. And at least you could see the enemy. All medical research at Newcastle Trust (the largest centre for clinical research in the UK) has been halted. All focus is on coronavirus now, nothing else matters. I hope I get redeployed to play some part in this. I'd actually love to get back to the labs.

That’s the sort of thing a Tory would say.

it's criminal because we all knew it was coming. they could have got ahead of the virus by locking the country down last week - we are still pretty much open for business. it's ridiculous. the government has placed far too much faith in behavioural scientists, i'm afraid. it's like they don't think people will obey a curfew until they experience the shitstorm first hand

Cunt:

The buses are still rammed with OAPs. This lot have spent the better part of a decade ruining things for the rest of us by being simple-minded, selfish ugly bastards and it’s high time that they shuffled off. Bring back Shipman, I say.

That’s a fairly terrible thing to say, regardless of their politics. Education and compassion is surely the way forward. A lot of these people probably don’t have anyone else at home, so this is their only for of companionship. They probably don’t realise the danger they are putting themselves and others in. That’s why the government needs to step in and close the pubs to save them from themselves. It will be tough on them, taking away (for some) their only social contact, but it is for the greater good. Besides all that, Greenwich voted remain.

Obviously it hadn't occurred to God to stop all of this before now.

If only

The Fish is just a Gyles Brandreth in waiting.

I think you're just nostalgic.

I'd like to apologise to @Rentonfor taking the piss the other week. It's getting to me a bit now. And now I've lost gym access that keeps me relatively sane.

quite normal for me, i feel like that every day because i'm such a massive star

i like this version

Aye. It we had the benefit of foresight and still fucked it up. Our trajectory is now exactly the same as Italy's and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Its terrifying.

And all it took was a catastrophic global pandemic. Thank fuck takeaways are still going. It’ll take more than this to stop the Turks.

As someone who has had the misfortune of staying at hotels in Spain in the past where there's lots of British and seen the bullshit that goes on with sunbeds around the pool I can only say I'm shocked by the behaviour of some, shocked I tell you.

Indeed. He is joining the list of people I won’t shed a tear about catching the virus themselves...

So as you know I'm famous for my positivity , so I've been thinking of some long-term positives to come from this. First, I hope it leads to more investment in the healthcare system. Second, I hope it means the Chinese stop eating bat burgers and close wet markets, permanently. Third, and most importantly, Ihonestly think this is the end of capitalism as we know it. Many huge companies will go under and need state bailouts. I dont think a single airline, restaurant or hotel chain will survive. The free market model is broken, smashed to pieces. From the ashes I can only see a socialist rebirth emerging. @Rayvin will be happy. But the downside relates to point 3. At the same time, society will become more authoritarian. We've seen the rise of this across the globe, and this is the perfect opportunity for authoritarians to take control. This is a chance of rebirth. The future is what we make it. And therein lies the problem. Damn.

One of mine has a dog onesy. Worth a go.

Or your kids

If pensioners get ill en masse it's not only them that will suffer. Some younger people will need medical care too, and these selfish twats will block their access. Plus healthcare workers are at high risk here themselves.

OK boomer

Ah that's my dilema I cant walk mate

All that is required to stop the spread is social distancing. Solitary walks ARE social distancing.

I think that's the problem, aye - people (deep down) know there's probably a shutdown coming, so they're going out and doing this stuff while they still can, maybe even more so. In terms of the health consqeuences it's negligent but you can understand the mindset really.

That was just before he burnt a £50 note he’d just autographed for Renton

Salt and salt and vinegar and vinegar.

They say great minds think alike don't they @The Fish?

As a string quartet plays a sombre rendition of "Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye".

justinguitar is as good as you'll get anywhere (it's very good). All the videos are on YouTube but I would recommend going via his website as all the videos are structured into courses on there - harder to make sense of the structure on YouTube. He'll get loads of value out of the site though and it's all free.

Wor lass got that too. At least that’s where she said she got it

Bono was so furious not to be included he's released his own dirge ballad, With or Without Flu.

They should sing for their ventilators, with a public vote. It will be even more hilarious since they will be gasping for breath.

Coach Derek Fazackerly left at Christmas to go back to Blackburn. Always thought that could've had a bearing on the dip in form compared with the first half of the season

Londoners can’t be trusted Gloom. Selfish cockney wankers. They’ll all go out up the old cunt road or wherever Fri/Sat night getting hammered & spreading death, then start looting the local Iceland. Don’t blame the authorities for trying to help feed the elderly My utterly heroic 72 year old father in law is as we speak in a queue at Sainsbury’s (opening early for pensioners only) waiting to get in to get us the beans & eggs that we couldn’t get at our local Lidl’s yesterday which looked like a scene from Mad Max . He walks his two giant Spinoni dogs 5/6 miles a day. Fit as a fiddle that cunt. Am still loafing in bed, all cosy with a cup of tea...what do you mean I’m a selfish snide tosser too?