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For old times' sake...

If some of our members die maybe it'll free up some space on the server for me?

Even our local moron -- sorry, I meant mayor -- Bill de Blasio, finally gave in at 5pm on Sunday and closed the schools (after an entire weekend of arm-twisting by the union.) As early as Sunday morning he was still giving it the big one and trying to evoke the 9/11 spirit among us. Fuck off. I remember 9/11 and it was nowt like this. Wife and bairns have gone to Pennsylvania, I'm joining them tomorrow. My students aren't actually going to learn anything with this "distance learning" system we've cobbled together, but I shouldn't complain - I've still got a job, can work from home, and am still getting paid. Many are far worse off. Stay healthy all of you.

Philip fucking Schofield.

Well this is cheering me up!

I honestly don’t understand how these people make it to middle age. Their lack of humanity is horrific. On a brighter note, I’ve had a phone consultation with my gp this afternoon and she’s signed me off for two months with stress Which I think @Dr Gloom suggested too 👍

He seems to be a little better. Has had a proper shit today. Cheers.

At last, some positive news

And John Barnes- I was 29 in 1997 and was middle aged by the time he’d ran past the halfway line.

I mean, you’re a massive fanny. Sureky that counts?

My mate in Germany says the shops there have all run out of sausages and cheese. That’s the Wurst Kase scenario.

And if you could get some fat pig-fucking moron to call me boring, state that 87% of people from Blyth are ugly and brag how he's going to have 19 pints the minute he's off the intravenus drip...that'd be nostalgia-tastic.

Duke of Deadinburgh if that's true

If you listen really carefully, you can hear a faint, persistent scratching in the background. It’s the sound of millions of wives writing “jobs around the house” lists for us poor saps. Worse, still- THERE’S NO FUCKING ESCAPE!

Hoarder porn. Thank me later, @Renton

It was a 4, thoroughly pancaked by lazy, nasally-retarded parents.

aye, definitely not because sir les was still wearing number 9

Tell him I had kale and lentil salad for lunch so all bets are off.

UglyMackems is back, but this time it’s personal

Sure that's CT's worktop!

Speed was a deadline signing later in the season anyway wasn’t he? And while he later turned out to be a great signing, Dalglish played him in the left side of midfield (of course he did). The daft thing is at the end of the previous season Dalglish had stumbled upon a system that worked with Tino, Shearer and Sir Les all playing in a 4-3-3. So he scrapped it (of course he did).

No Eurovision? Bring me the virus.

I think he’s gone on holiday to Teneri… oh.

Just seen Eurovision has been moved to next year....has anyone checked on @Meenzer to see if he’s ok?....

Get yourself a soy latte and calm down

Sorry. Had to be done.

Don’t worry, he’ll change his mind tomorrow.

Fuck you baldy/bravado

Nice one, I mean it’s not exactly ‘nice’ but you know what I mean

Nah, they just heard ewerk was going in.

what a team that was. what a manager. what a fucking joy it was to support them in the mid 90s. the kids who have grown up today only knowing the shell of a club we have become under ashley have no clue, the poor buggers

What a load of rubbish. But she is free to die if she does want to. She is entitled to this freedom as long as she doesn’t take anyone with her who doesn’t want to die. Good riddance tbh

By proper…

Feel dirty having clicked on that. What a load of shite. Basically inferring it’s god getting his own back but not quite having the courage to say it

Yeah, I can understand the theory behind a mortgage holiday being that they extend your mortgage of a few months or slightly increase future repayments but to ask rent payers to pay back three months rent over a period of a year is going to be a struggle for a lot of people.

Aye, pound shops and corner shops are often still coming up with the goods, Aldi/Lidl/Iceland have different types of supply chains to the big supermarkets etc. Trouble is I don't mind shopping around but not when we're being told to avoid all non-essential contact.

get out

Did I not mention I've got a wife and kid... sounds like somethingI would have brought up ad infinitum. Finally told to work from home, and because the office is shut down, no fucker can get on. So I'm on hold with IT and waiting for a call from my boss demanding to know why I'm not showing as available. So, have a missed anything? Guessing t00nraider is still pretending to be a Newcastle fan, J69 is still killing joy with gay abandon and essembee is still remembering that important date?

Liverpool? Absolutely fucking not sunshine.

Summer 1997 has to go down as one of our worst transfer windows in history mind https://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/newcastle-united/transfers/verein/762/plus/0?saison_id=1997&pos=&detailpos=&w_s=s Sold Ginola, Ferdinand, Beardsley and Elliott. Replaced them with Rush, Barnes, Pearce, Ketsbaia, Tomasson, Pinas, Hamilton and Pistone. We also signed Speed and Given but fuck me, we destroyed that team in the space of 6 weeks

Well 1st night back at graft, office staff who can are working from home, however we're still working but they've binned loads of chairs so we can keep some distance between ourselves when we're having a cuppa. Trouble is now you're fighting to get a seat on your break whilst the little Hitler's are sat in the house on mein kampfy chair.

Never mind that, imagine being stuck in Italy. Not only are you on lockdown but now you've got arseholes standing on their balconies singing and playing instruments. I could honestly think of nothing worse.

And then they wake up and realise they are quarantined - in Sunderland.

If at some point you encounter a bloke in his fifties, fighting off the fit nurses with a stick, be gentle with me.