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All I wanted to do is talk about my beloved coronavirus...

The bickering on here is fucking off the charts ridiculous at the minute. Can we stop blaming people on here for the shit that's going on? It's gonna be a shit enough year, loads of awful stuff is gonna happen, people on here are possibly going to lose older family members. If there are people to be enraged with about that, I'm pretty sure none of them are posting on here. Basically let's not be cunts. Come on here to get away from the unpleasantness, not to perpetuate it.

Putting aside the ‘biggest club to play in tier 3’ nonsense, the bellend also thinks there are only 10-15 clubs bigger than them in the country They’ve played 2 games in European competition, look set to be a third division side for a third year, 3 seasons since they were last in the top flight, yet this spanner thinks they’re in the top 10-15 biggest clubs in the country I suppose the longer they’re at their proper level the more ridiculous the straws they clutch at will be, it was ‘everyone’s cup final’ last season, season 3 in League One will surely make them realize teams don’t see them as a scalp ffs.

I’ve got slightly involved on twitter over this Rooney thing. I understand how he’s feeling but he can completely insulate himself from risk due to his wealth. I get that he feels like he and his colleagues feel used because of the huge amounts of money in top level European football and the football authorities waited until they had no choice but to cancel the fixtures but I dare say the vast majority of us on here and umpteen million others who he’s made his from over the years are all still being asked to turn in tomorrow. So the fat scouse cunt can fuck off

Nice to see what I wrote after a few whiskeys. I stand by it though, bunch of mugs.

I know. Imagine attending a Stereophonics concert in 2020. This country...

Call me a cynic, but I'm thinking Rooney doesn't actually write his own column for the Times....

Didn’t have any cauliflower, used 3-ply Andrex instead.

I follow loads of saucy middle aged slappers who I went to school with for that exact reason. Time hasn’t been that kind to some of them, but you still would

I'm all for buying chickens if it means I get to have sex with a 30 year old Felicity Kendal.

A lad I know, his bird has set up a Facebook account for their 5 month old. Ffs

Just a.few.off the top of my head from over the years The black widow (seen.2 hubbys off,.still would though..) Onslow - old.school manager. Not a people verson Hans Moleman. Lost a bit of weight and now stretchy skin. Daryaline. Nice lad but in the right light could be.your.nan. Bread head - plank,.pleasent but bad craic. Worked at Warbutons. The golden.decieiver. fit a distance, dog.up.close

'"I'm not being Magesque....." What a fucking knacker.

Might have to return to the old childhood emergency bog roll, Doc leaves. Also come in handy if I get a nettle sting while I'm there.

Sadly this does not tend to translate well to the "intimidating lads who were good at sports in year 11" category.

Aye, the Asda by here was fine just now - none of the stuff that's out everywhere (pasta, bog roll etc.) but otherwise all right. Busier than usual but not much panic/rudeness. Mind you, this is London so it'd be hard to tell the difference. Popped into the corner shop just up the road first to buy the things I knew they'd have & there was another customer in there marvelling at how many chick peas they had in stock. The owner gave him some bone-dry line about Sri Lankans having their own secret supply chains. He's a good bloke.

Went to Sainsbury’s and they’d ran out of gnocchi. This fucking country.

I bet she wants to see you again.

Mind, the Chinese I got last night came in record time. You have to find the positives

Contagion. 0/10 Fucking ridiculous.

Our lass’ brother married a girl who thinks of herself as some kind of Instagram influencer. They bought a (really nice) new build city centre flat and she set up an account on there about “renovating” the place? They painted the walls and bought furniture, silly cow didn’t even do the painting they paid someone to do it.

It doesn't of course, but it's got a huge propensity of attacking a certain demographic who generally have a "gammon" viewpoint. My parents are just as likely to be victims of course, and they are massive europhiles. This is exactly the time I'd like Europe to act cooperatively. And for the US to have retained its pandemic response team. But Breixuters like you and nationalistic cretins like Trump have ripped up the hard fought protocols we had. You voted for it, own it.

Now you suddenly care about others? Fuck right off man.

in fairness he doesn't really need trump's money since ashley gave him a £40m contribution for nowt.

Parky went shopping...

Has Rooney had arse hair added to his chin as well as his napper?

On the bright side, Trump is fucked

I’m sure we have a Borderline Boilers thread. Spread the love, man.

I mentioned last week about snapping my leg and being hospitalised in Austria for a week. 84 I think. This book was my only reading material and my only solace, it literally kept me sane. By some fucking weird coincidence, it was the only period in history when an Austrian band had a number one hit. One of the worst dirges in pop history, Opus "Life is life". They played it on a loop, non-fucking stop. The patients in the ward literally sang along to it, the cunts. It was the only English they knew as well. I'm obviously a europhile at heart but I fucking hate Austria with every cell of my body. They gave us Hitler, and they gave us Opus. Unforgivable.

Problems solved. Wykiki will have a nipsy like a polished marble

At least the ones I follow are like that

Wasn't there a line like "You are like the mint cake. Cool, fresh and nice to suck"

He did and it's sad that cancer got him a couple of years ago. IMHO Bob Mould didn't find his best song writing until after Husker Du. It's brilliant that a punk band with an openly gay man and his openly bisexual band mate were as successful as they were in the early to mid 80s. I saw these guys on Firday night, with covid-19 spreading like wildfire it looks like they could be the last international band I get to see for a while.

Tbh, I think today’s match was our best home performance all season. Atmosphere was just as ever though.

Best idea he’s had since he suggested NUST buy a pub.

Sweet David Jesus!

Bet he honks.

Felicity, Felicity, you fill me with electricity. A bit like putting your nob in an electric socket. [Excerpt from Rik Mayal poem. Sadly missed. Spot on about FK kind, she was lovely].

I loved Copper Blue by Sugar back in the day. Time to dig that out again I reckon

At the risk of being seen at attempting to ‘score points’. This policy does seem to be aimed at getting the whole thing over with quickly rather than saving as many lives as we can?

Grant Hart did the best songs on that album

I can just imagine his poor young kids, sitting watching 4 frozen chickens slowly rotting in the garden. “ Daaa-aaad, when will they start making eggs?” Edit; the average going rate for a ready-to-lay chicken is between £15-20 each. Whoever sold the Tory Tit four for £20 obviously saw him coming and sold him some budgies with red Haribos glued on their heads.