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Oh no they're not

Bruce has a lot of questions to answer. How’s the bacon? Springs to mind

Bruce: The one thing they didn’t do was give up, and that’s not a problem. But we have to have more of a threat to win matches in the Premier League. Arsenal and Palace away, both are not easy games, but we didn’t cause enough problems in the final third and that’s what we have got to try and address. Need more fret

The good news for Villa, Watford and West Ham is that they all still have us to play.

When he says the players can't cope with changing the formation what he really means is he can't cope, it's been hard enough for him trying to come to terms with a single set up.

Quite an interesting approach to defending set-pieces, here. Choosing to just not do so and let the keeper sort it out.

Eddie Hearn is a cunt

I'd honestly put Almiron through the middle if he wasn't so one-footed. It would require an entire change of approach that our knacker gaffer isn't capable of putting together though, right from the tactics to the coaching. Honestly, if we stay up (and I think the sides below us will struggle to put wins together tbf), they should really be shaking Bruce's hand for having things not be a total shitshow, retaining some of the morale from Rafa and kindly telling him to fuck off and employ a manager who can knit an £80 million front line, a defence that knows each other well and two bright young midfield talents into a team that doesn't resemble a load of hungover Sunday league shithouses.

It should be obvious,we’ve playerd 27 league games you idiot

Bore off

Wonder what it could be.....

Yep

Luke Edwards making a tit of himself is a given like.

I like how they tried to maintain it for 6 month but the pressure of not being completely incompetent is too much to bear for our poor refs.

Yeah, I’ve maintained for a while we won’t go down and I still don’t think we will but we’re so lucky to have those points on the board already. We look absolutely fucking clueless in every department

The only reason we will stay up now is that we have a 6/7 point gap on sides like Villa, Watford and West Ham who also can’t buy a win. It’s going to be a very low bar to stop up points wise. Our performances are actually getting worse tbh, today was absolutely pathetic.

How fucking thick is Lazaro? We’ve lost the game man just let him go.

Tony Gale climbing the ranks of cockney cunts here.

A few minutes into the game he had to make a run, he was spent then let alone now.

Spot on.If you put a full back up front he’d contribute in some way,either by challenging or running down the wings.We cannot even resort to humping the ball up front due to his lack of interest in challenging for headers.

Tried it against Arsenal and got pumped even further so he’ll never try it again. The fact that we’d clearly never trained with 4 at the back or put any thought in how we’d play when we went to it is irrelevant.

I think most people with some sense can see that Joelinton needs someone within 5 yards of him at all times, at the very least. The longer he has the ball, the more panicked he becomes. He hasn’t got a clue.

Aye it’s baffling we weren’t all out to buy or at least loan a striker in January. Despite that it’s mad he’s not trying anything else, sure Gayle isn’t PL level but just fucking try him, play another formation that gets players closer to the striker instead of having him completely isolated. Saying he can’t change the tactics as the players are used to it is fucking ridiculous, he’s had about 7 months now and 3 out this 11 came to the team less than a month ago.

Average recent former Newcastle forwards I'd rather have out there than Joelinton: Aleksander Mitrovic Peter Lovenkrands Shola Ameobi Yoan Gouffran Daryl Murphy (or or off the gear) Leon Best Alan Smith Fabrice Pancrate Marlon Harewood Luuk de Jong Nile Ranger (with or without cuffs)

That string of passes Palace just sitting back and waiting for one of the switches to go flying out of play

Did you see the half shoulder shrug/arms out from Lascelles as his brain tried to generate an excuse for his absolute lack of marking for Benteke's open header from three yards?

It honestly is, it's as though we've got 10 competition winners who've never met each other out there with Dubravka.

Might be worth Steve working an actual ball or two into our training regime so that we don't appear to be total strangers to having one at our feet during games.

Big Joe has a slight thigh strain but Bruce still plays him

A true patriot!

I think it’s Nigel De Jong’s face. He’s nearly at Gary Coleman levels of quizzical.

ARE YOU WATCHING, RAFA!!!!!!!!11111111!!!!???????

Agreed!

I think I've referred to that a few times on here - it was peak "football fans don't matter as they're all animals".

On this day in 1987 Spurs was the most terrified I've ever been at an away game, not for the trouble after the match but the crushing on the terraces. https://youtu.be/i42jCN6duHY

By the way, Wykiki should do a periodical blog or something, 'Tales from the office'. I love reading his posts about it.

There's a manager at my place, a bit like a Vulcan but with a personality not even as warm as a Vulcan's. He was doing some kind of appraisal and slagging an old timer off. After he'd finished his lecture he gave a company line asking if there's anything he could do to help the by now, pissed off old timer. The old timer's one word, deadpan response of 'die' got him sacked.* *He might've got it downgraded on an appeal but I think he'd had enough, (plenty of managers like Spock here).

I like your storytelling priorities here. "I told him there'd be a General Election before the end of the year and the little bastard just refused to believe me. Also he said he was going to slit someone's throat"

It's relevant insofar as different standards apply to the obviously unwell person who's protecting rich people's interests and the angry socialist grandpa, just like different standards applied last time when Trump was already showing signs of his decline but apparently that didn't matter whereas Clinton wobbling/fainting into a car was immediately seized upon. It's not so much the "how" the American public are ok with it (primarily the media, obviously) as the fact that it's just the way it is in the first place and it can't be changed any more. Which is why they're fucked even before the left and the centre start tearing each other to pieces. Which, as you say, they will also almost certainly proceed to do.

More genius from QT