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nee bother with queues in any at the moment I'd wager

I'm not engaging with any of it. Why give them the pleasure? Up bright and early tomorrow morning and off to parkrun as usual. Once you've voted and protested and got angry and still lost, there's nowt much you can do but try and make things a bit nicer in your immediate community, in the knowledge that it's something the people sowing division will never understand.

Mind, elsewhere in Brussels...

OK, now I'm angry

that's the kind of detailed insight fans of rival clubs keep coming back for

‘How did you get this number? Don’t fucking call here again.’

Things we CAN'T get in the north east.... Trophies HS2 Like for like spending with the SE Dual carriageway to Scotland Rid of the mackems Things we CAN get in the NE..... A virus from China Sanctions if you're on universal credit

Next international break the club announce a rehabilitative trip to Wuhan, China for luxury spa treatment and physical fine tuning at their top medical centres. Chosen by Ashley because it's "weirdly cheap right now"...

if the shields gazette say it’s legit, it’s legit

Well I’m off to join the IRA.

The supporters trust bought a pub and renamed it the 'Panama' a few years ago after a recommendation from amongst our fanbase. It's a bit out of the way for you, admittedly, in Boldon, (south of the river), but I hear it does a cracking menu.

Bowen isn't a striker anyway. Hopefully we've learned our lesson with Joelinton that it's not a good idea signing someone to play in a position he doesn't normally play in. I'm with KD, whilst I hate Ashley and what he's done to the club, I can't understand why anyone wouldn't want to see us win and it seems insane for anyone to want Joelinton to fail. Mind it's harder to enjoy the wins when we've played utter shite in most of them. The odd win against the run of play is a hoot but when it's the majority of games it does bring the mood down.

Turns out we signed a new striker under the radar

Well he can make up with improving the awful brand of football...

It's only me in there now since Gemmill passed away.

It does rather feel like the list started with "G" and ended with "iroud"

Just sit on your arse for the next nine months and when you're asked why you've done nothing tell them you've had assurances from the Prime Minister that no checks would be required.

Corona virus discovered here on Brexit day makes me think the universe has a sense of humour after all.

I’d just head to the Winchester, have a nice pint and wait for it all to blow over

if we beat norwich on saturday.... would that mean ashley isn't a cunt? bruce isn't a clueless never was? joelinton's worth £40m? andy carroll wasn't a joke signing to appease the profoundly stupid? that our support isn't being abused and seen as anything other than a back drop to an advertising hoarding? i just want the club back that i fell in love with as a 5 year old man, not the fucked up, souless monstrosity ashley's turned it in to. does that make me and others like me bad people?

Seems a bit harsh on Tom on several levels that

In World War II the average IQ of the combat soldier was 100. In Parliament Square it was nineteen. N-n-n-n-nineteen.

Hopefully Cameron has had the decency to hang himself tonight

cheers ‘marra’

The club will make sure he gets plenty of shit.

Sshhhhh. If my wife discovers that it's shite I'll be forced to buy her decent stuff.

Dat Bar is decent for craft beer and pizzas

And demand will be high. Especially if Ken comes over to avoid the bush fires

Unless you post a picture of you in front of Jimbo’s tv with someone waving with a dildo behind you to confirm it I won’t believe you ever again.

i don't particularly want it to happen by the way. but for those who do, it's closer than you might think.

We’re fucked then.

I think it's more likely it started with "N" and ended with "ee fucker." If we'd wanted to show ambition we could've gone out and got Bowen, at least he knows where the net is. Talk of Giroud or 35m for some striker from Lille (who according to .com isn't even a striker) that nobody's ever heard of was just that, talk. More accurately, bullshit. Joelinton is only still in the side because we've got no other strikers. If he gets injured we'll be playing Ritchie or Atsu up front. No self-respecting football manager could tolerate this situation, but this is Ashley's master plan in action. As always, put a shit stooge in charge who'll not complain when he gets jerked around, get some lucky points, guesstimate we'll scrape another 10-11 by the end of the season, no danger of relegation, no need to spend. Same as it ever was. Until of course he inevitably gets it wrong and we go down again. Yawn.

According to the WHO If you drank this as a bairn you'll be immune

This is the stuff that is really worrying.

I think you’re wrong. We all want a successful club, or at the very least one that tries, but we’ve been beaten into submission by a decade of Ashley’s ownership. I don’t think anyone really wants to see the club in the shit, despite the bluster. He’s just sucked the joy out of it. I still watch, most on here do too, mainly out of habit, but it’s hard to get as excited about wins and it’s easy to shrug off defeats because as long as Ashley is here we are a zombie shell of a club.

Can tell that's a Ryder article by, not only the infantile subject matter but by the trademark, one-line paragraphs. Reinventing tabloid journalism.

And a can of Kestrel special brew in his hand, cock-eyed Mala wouldn’t let him go on a stake out without one

Missing the Stone Island badge on the sleeve.

The Knight using his pseudonym but NUFC CCTV at Longbenton caught this strange character loitering around the bushes with a camera and a notepad......

Sadly not

I hope everyone who gets hard ons gets fucked.

fucking tremendous. is that a thinly veiled admission that you're fucking clueless, and that maybe those that aren't blind to the fucking obvious were rightfully concerned about it rather than relishing in it? hey, don't worry though mate, might be your turn to get a hard on next. a couple of those loan signings might turn out to be the two players you reckoned was all that was needed to transform us in to a good team. oh and joelinton and carroll might win a few more headers, which'll obviously be fantastic.

Because, if you remember, we'd just been relegated. He cost 6.2 million 3 seasons ago. Can I suggest you take these things into consideration before you commit to airing your inane bullshit into the public realm. Thanks.

Aguero to be unveiled by the Saudis on deadline day on a 200k per day deal

don't do this to yourself man

Rose at left back