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You can celebrate winners all you want mush, I’m sure a lot of the people on here who dislike Bruce did too. The problem with swallowing what is being served up is it’s indicative of the regime, we survive on a whim or a shoestring. You can’t honestly believe we deserve to be where we are in the league based on the showings this seasons? Unless there is either a change of heart from Ashley and he properly supports the team, or he leaves this is as good as it gets. This is the culmination of Newcastle United, aim for safety and everything else is a bonus. It’s not what I thought of when I first started supporting a football team, it’s not what Sir Bobby or Kevin Keegan or Rafa Benitez thought when managing us. I actually like a lot of our players, they graft and they can defend very well and generally are a likeable bunch. But this aiming for survival is draining and honestly drains the fun from the game. Enjoy the win, I did because fuck Chelsea and I’m glad for the players.

I think the relevant part is below: We have been unbelievably lucky in so many matches this season. Yes, some of that luck has been earned through hard work but it’s clear from watching us that we’re in a false position in the league. Add to that the fact that Steve Bruce as our manager is a massive statement of the limit of Mike Ashley’s ambition for our club and it’s hard to fully enjoy the wins.

The point is it’s not sustainable. None of the various periods of Ashley’s tenure have been. If you can hold your nose and forget all that’s gone before with him that’s fine. I can’t so that’s why I’ve only been to two away games all season. Obviously beating Chelsea with a 94th minute winner is to be savoured. Every win, every scrappy hard fought draw, all of it. I enjoy them. We’re literally going nowhere though and with 40k still putting their brief,spasmodic moments of glory in front of any principled, mass movement against Ashley we never will.

Did she just fall down the stairs?

Are we certain that J69 isn’t actually a mackem who has been playing the really long game?

A good piece of advice would be to never do what Kid Rock does so it’s a no from me, sadly.

The man who treats ‘me too’ as a request.

Newcastle United head coach Steve Bruce on making new signings in January: "We've got one or two plates spinning and we hope that we can add to the squad by the end of the month.

See, that's the thing, it has something to do with me. I'm Fishman. A superhero, making podcasts by night, making startlingly good Anglo-Spanish food suggestions by day. Named Fishman as an experiment to fuse the natural abilities of a fish to swim with a man went wrong in a laboratory explosion and you were left with a man who was a bit wet like a fish......Fishman!

bloody hell look what the dutch fans had ready for pardew

It’s just them lying again. It doesn’t fucking help when the likes of them and the government are completely ignoring how close the result was and the way things have gone since the referendum. There’s not a hint of pragmatism or compromise and it’s all “we won, get over it, everyone knew it was going to be a hard Brexit”. But if they keep repeating it enough...well, you know the rest.

I think that when Almiron, ASM and Joelinton are all fit Bruce understandably wants to play them. But that system as per yesterday just doesn’t work in an attacking sense. We play a sort of 3-4-2-1. On paper it sounds ok but you have the problem I’ve already mention with Shelvey being one of a two in the middle. We tend to get overrun there and can’t control games and have hardly any possession. Also ASM and Almiron get sucked into helping the midfield out and play as almost auxiliary wingbacks. It leaves Joelinton completely isolated (irrespective of how good / bad he is). We had a better shape with Almiron in the middle in an attacking midfield role when we were playing 3-5-2 in some games when ASM wasn’t fit. Obviously Chelsea are a decent side but they weren’t anything special yesterday but we struggled to string two passes together. Even a slight tweak to revert back to that with ASM closer to Joelinton and Almiron in the middle would help I think. I’d play S. Longstaff alongside Hayden behind Almiron

I enjoy going, quite a bit more than under the tenure of managers such as Souness, JFK, or McLaren in fact. I feel we've got a team of grafters who deserve support. I've got 4 season tickets for less than £600 which is pretty good value. And unlike J69, I have no issue buying a coffee, pint, or hotdog for the kids. I wouldn't buy anything in a Sports Direct shop though or an Ashley brand. Are those staying away really more principled or had they I fact just stopped enjoying it? I suspect it's the latter in most cases. Nobody should do something they don't want to do, but similarly I'm fucked if I'm going to bite my nose off to spite my face because of Ashley. And anyway, whilst we're in the premier league the income from match goers is negligible.

Faced the most shots in the league, according to that article you linked to

Buying a striker and midfielder wouldn’t make us a good team, because it would probably mean changing the way we play. Which wouldn’t suit the other players we have too well. Agree about the squad been a solid hardworking one. Rafa wanted to improve the whole club, which yeah would have taken a lot of money but at least he was ambitious. It’s a bit of a straw man to say nobody else has touched him with a barge pole, he will definitely be back in Europe at some point and at a more ambitious club than us (in my opinion). Fact is Rafa has won trophies at every club he has managed (might need fact checking) and we haven’t won anything in my lifetime, or even been close with Ashley in charge. To go from a serial winner to Steve Bruce is a bit galling me for me though. Those are reported figures, which if true is great. Why couldn’t Rafa have that money? Or decide where it was spent? He said Joe wasn’t worth the money, been proved right so far in my book. We may have spent more than most this season, but that doesn’t take into account previous years of underspend or profit making, so is disingenuous. I don’t think anyone has had a go at you for going to the match, people are free to do whatever they like. Ulitmately I don’t think anyone wants us to get beat really, they want an ambitious football club to get behind and properly support. I think a lot of it is schadenfreude regarding Ashley and his terrible decisions that even us men on the street can see are wrong.

Especially if the taxi’s driven by an Alf Stewart lookalike in a Panama hat

Also odd given how shite his dad was

Aye, seems a hell of a talent, and a bit of a odd one as well remember him saying something about how he was going to take the ball home and treat it like his girlfriend after his first hat-trick for Salzburg.

A canny good start for the young Haaland at Dortmund A hat trick start https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51163405

Doesn't Steve Wraith sit near there, fingers crossed.

Smirnoff ice

hope he was one of the cunts singing brucey brucey give us a wave the other day.

No. Fuck off you dull mackem cunt. There.

Ornery hornery. My shins are sore from celebrating our winner

Good shout, that. Then you can get out on the Friday in Tynemouth and see all the “Fur Coat and Nee Knickers” crumpet

It’s the rehab that kills ‘em.

Boris man. This is more irritating than that Manchester team being referred to as United.

The only bug I want Fat Mike to get is sepsis.

When Reagan Thomson looked out of the Hilton Hotel in Gateshead earlier this month, he could see St James’ Park across the River Tyne. Its shimmer serenaded him from across the water over the four nights that Newcastle United put him up there as part of a charm offensive that included a tour of their stadium and training facilities. It didn’t take long for Queen’s Park’s latest prodigy to decide where his future lay. At just 16 years old, Thomson has signed a two-and-a half-year deal with Newcastle — the longest he is allowed to at this age — initially worth about £50,000. It could rise to £90,000 depending on appearances and other clauses. His journey to the Premier League has not been a seamless one, having to contend with much more than the familiar young footballer’s setbacks of untimely growth spurts and bad injuries. It has encompassed bereavement and illness, it has demanded perseverance and sacrifice to overcome the limitations of his background and it has required a strength of character some people would find difficult to muster as an adult let alone a child. Thomson grew up in Govan, the working-class area of Glasgow and former shipbuilding hub Sir Alex Ferguson hails from. Over the past few decades, however, like most of post-industrial Glasgow, it has become dilapidated with derelict ground and rundown flats shrouding the area. Ibrox, the home of Rangers, Thomson’s boyhood team, has remained a permanent fixture in the area. He lived a few turns away from the stadium on Wanlock Street, on the banks of the Clyde. Football is the one thing that has managed to captivate a boy who struggled to hold an interest in anything else — especially school. While football has defined his life, and could well secure he and his family’s future, it is also the sport that tragically deprived him of his dad, Alex. Father and son were playing football in the back garden when Alex went to return the ball to his 18-month-old boy and a slow-burning tragedy began to unfold. Alex’s leg caught the spike of a nettle and his skin broke out in a rash, which saw him rushed to hospital where he was diagnosed with blood poisoning. Nobody could have expected that 10 years later this innocent kick-around would prove fatal, taking a father of five aged only 40. Thomson’s mother, Michelle, recalls the trauma that shook her family. “He picked up an infection when the spike went into his leg,” she says. “We thought it would be OK, as you do, but he got infection after infection before it eventually took him. We had no idea it was that serious. At first, when they put him on a drip, I thought he would be all right but it just kept coming back. “The doctors kept telling me the medication was working but it didn’t last. He would come out in rashes but by the time he died it had started going up his entire leg. I didn’t like looking at it but I think it had got too late by that point. The doctors gave it their all. “It was very hard to deal with. We had planned to get married for years but kept putting it off because of the kids. We had set a date in November 2013 but he died in the May so we didn’t get a chance to. “Reagan was obviously just a baby at the time he caught the nettle but when he passed away, naturally, he was devastated. He looked up to his dad and, with the recent success he has had with his football, he has started talking about him more. His dad was a good player as well. It’s funny, Reagan and his dad are both right-handed and left-footed but the rest of the family are all right-handed and right-footed.” Michelle was left widowed and with five children to raise. Courtney is her oldest at 23, while she has another two daughters, Shannon, 22, and 19-year-old Morgan. Jack, 18, is her other son. If funding her kids through school and supporting their interests wasn’t hard enough, life landed another cruel punch not long after Alex’s death. “At the time I would have been greeting (crying) about it but now I’m fine,” says Michelle as she reflects on being diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2015. “I got radiotherapy and chemotherapy treatment for six weeks. Right now I’m in my remission period, which lasts for five years. “Reagan was only 11 at the time so he didn’t understand fully. I was only telling the kids the positive things as I wanted to protect them because they had lost their dad just two years before that. It was difficult for him as I saw a spell where he wasn’t as bothered with his football but no way was I letting him fall away from it. “That’s when I put my faith in Queen’s Park as they picked him up for training and my daughter helped me too. Due to my treatment, I couldn’t drive. One time I actually forgot to pick him up because when you go through radiotherapy, your memory goes a bit.” From their street to Lesser Hampden in the south of the city is no less than an hour and a half on foot but Reagan often walked it. “At first when he asked me to play for a team I said no as I couldn’t drive,” adds Michelle. “I always remember the day I passed my driving test he came running down and said, ‘Can I go to football now?’ “I had five or six jobs at the one time after their dad passed away. Things like cooking and working in snack bars. I didn’t want the kids to feel like they missed out on anything so I took whatever work was offered to me to make sure I had Christmas and birthdays covered.” Thomson was obsessed with football from before he could walk and Michelle remembers how he used to wear full kits to his bed. Every photograph she finds of him as a young child has a football in it somewhere. His mum plans on moving down to Newcastle in the next couple of weeks to help him settle as this is his first time living away from home. She admits it is a scary prospect for her as well as her son but he wouldn’t allow anyone to tell him that he should stick in at school in case he wasn’t going to make it as a footballer. That ambition of earning a first professional contract has now been realised and it is a tunnel vision that convinces Michelle he’s not going to let his chance go to waste. “It’s not been a hard journey with Reagan, I’d say it’s more been an exhausting one as there is so much travelling,” she says. “I feel like it’s paid off to see where he is now. All those years standing in the rain and snow, him walking to football. His hard work has paid off. This is his time to shine. “I can’t put it into words how proud I am, I honestly can’t. I couldn’t point out a good footballer player if I tried but when Reagan scores from so far out, I do wonder how he does it at times. One of his best pals’s dad comes from Newcastle and he always used to say to him that maybe one day he’ll play for Newcastle. I always used to say, ‘Aye, if only!’ “He’s got that gallus (bold) streak about him and he’s always got a one-liner up his sleeve but he doesn’t show off. I like that about him as I want him to continue to be liked and not for people to think he is a cocky wee guy. Once he knew his football was going to potentially take off, he became really focused on it. He stopped hanging about the streets and the four or five boys he has been pals with for years have all been supportive of his career, even though he’s moving away. “He was quite excited but he won’t really show how proud he is of what he has achieved. When I’m bragging to people about the situation he just says, ‘Mum, I’m just playing football’. Charlie King has got to be the best coach in the world. He’s brought him right the way through. Everyone at Queen’s Park has been brilliant.” King is more humble than that. He has watched Thomson develop ever since he joined Queen’s Park at age nine from Park Villa boys’ club. An academy coach at the League Two side, King worked with Thomson for five of the seven seasons he spent with Queen’s Park. He, like so many scouts, saw a player whose striking ability with his left foot stood out even if he “didn’t have the best shape about him” as a youngster. King used to share kitman duties with former Queen’s Park player Andy Robertson before the now Liverpool full-back and Scotland captain moved on. He feels there’s a similar drive in Thomson but it is the need for him to succeed that makes him different to most academy prospects. “There are some boys who you think can go and make it in the game but you know with people like Andy that they will be able to do something else if it doesn’t work out, whereas I was just desperate for Reagan to get this as a job for him and his family,” said King. “I used to have to pick him up as he didn’t have a lift to training and even then I was dropping him off thinking, ‘This isn’t the nicest of places.’ He could easily have said he couldn’t make it in those situations but that never bothered him. He just wanted to be play.” Newcastle sent scouts to watch Thomson this season after he made his first-team debut in August, five days after his 16th birthday. He has only made nine senior appearances but they have been aware of him for longer than that. “We played Newcastle a few years ago and he scored a hat-trick. He was a real standout then but we got to the semi-final of the youth cup last season and he was playing two years above himself. It sounds daft but, when he gets to the edge of the box, you now just expect a goal because he’s done it that consistently and his technique is so good. He could strike a ball 30 yards into the top corner at 10, which most boys can’t do at that age. I don’t think Celtic or Rangers had anyone better than him, from what I saw.” Clyde winger Gregg Wylde, who came through the youth ranks at Rangers, is a big fan and has tipped him for the top on Twitter. Wylde’s father, Gordon, who played for East Stirling in the 1980s, has helped steer Thomson’s career in the last couple of years. He likens the teenager to former Rangers and Norwich City midfielder Robert Fleck and prefers him to play slightly deeper than the No 10 role most teams see as his natural position. King thinks Thomson’s confidence is what helps separate him from the rest. “He’s a character,” says King . “Last season, we had a game on the Wednesday and a game on the Friday so I had to take him off on the Wednesday night. He was raging. He was in a huff so I told him he hadn’t been good enough and that he wouldn’t be starting. I didn’t mean it but I just said it until he apologised. He played on the Friday and scored a hat-trick. He came up to me after the game and said, ‘Is that all right for a ‘sorry’?’ That’s the kind of boy he is. He would never say anything to you, he would go and show it. “He’s definitely matured. He’s gone up to the first team but he’s not shy. If he has something to say he will say it. He’s just been brought up as a wee guy where, if there is a game of football going on, he is there. That’s all he’s ever been interested in. He was never the keenest when it came to the other stuff but he realises that if it’s going to be his job he will need to start going to the gym and eating right. He’s been away with Scotland a few times now so he’s started to get used to that now. “He has never been in this environment before where it’s now his job. You see numerous boys who go down south (to English clubs) and you never hear from them again. I’m hopeful that if he continues to kick on he will be close to Newcastle’s first team. He now has to go and prove he wants it to be his job for ever.” It’ll be quite the story if Thomson is able to overcome the hardship and tragedy that has shaped his life to become a Premier League footballer. It would also be just reward for the support and nurturing he has received from the coaches at Queen’s Park like King and payback for mum Michelle, who has dedicated years of her life to putting a brave face on it for the sake of her kids’ future. “As long as he’s happy, I’m happy,” she says.

One’s an uptight, straight edge murse while the other is a serially unemployed, coke sniffing sildenafil addict. Fate has brought them together and hilarity ensues.

Not if the unconscious one is you.

And three fucking hours long.

Nah, get HIM so mortal that he shits himself in a Dixy Chicken doorway and she'll finish him. And that's when you move to Step 2: Threesome.

Worse than I thought

The fucks it got to do with you?

Been dragged into the freezing Manchester night to meet my GFs mates new BF. Bloke is a weapon. Might be a long night

Fucked a fat lad apparently.

The fuck did the Fish do?

Aye looks like the him, wears a ridiculous 80s mullet wig. Probably mates the The Fish

Bloody Millenials

Way before my time.