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Don't call it a comeback We've been shit for years Worst team on the River Wear Puttin' clean seats at the SoS in fear Makin' the tears rain down like a monsoon Listen to the half empty stadium go boo Adam Johnson, overpowerin' In front of the Paedo Hunters he's cowerin Wrecking the chicken shop when I write these lyrics That'll make you call the Canny Cops Competition's payin' the price I'm gonna knock you out Reiver said knock you out I'm gonna knock you out Danger Nonce said knock you out I'm gonna knock you out That cunt who shat on his seat said knock you out I'm gonna knock you out Word to your Mother. She's also your sister

that's reiver that is, on loan from penelope cruz. on the 70s he singlehandedly took both the leazes end and the holgate on the same day. even now at the age of 104 he strikes fear in the hearts of their bitter rivals firms, the portsmouth 6.57 crew and the coventry city legion. even jimmy hill's statue trembles. by virtue of being the hardest man on the planet reveir ensures that despite being a destitute, lower mid table 3rd division club, sunderland are still one of the biggest and best loved institutions in the world.

Please don't thank me, I literally didn't mean a word of it.

When I'm alone in my room Sometimes I stare at the wall In the back of my mind I hear my conscience call Tellin' me I need a girl who's as sweet as a dove For the the first time in my life, I'm seeking 14 and above There I was, giggling about the games That I had played with many hearts and I'm still chanting AJ's name

Actually I'm making a slight correction. 1 in 8 chance of it being a specific individual, so 12.5% chance. Then there's a 1 in 7 chance of it being the next individual which is a 14.3% chance. Multiply the two to get the chance of it being those two individuals specifically. Which is 1.79%. I think that's right but I'm doubting myself and I'm just back in from the work Christmas do, so I wouldn't base a tribunal claim on it.

Well I have to say you're made your point quite eloquently by your standard......

“ What do you want for pudding, dear?” ” fucken crisps”

Also nice to see Gallagher not forgetting the SAFC/Man City friendship* now that they're a million miles away from each other. *One of the many football alliances Sunderland have with other clubs. (No way he'd ever consider a Mag for a bouncer. FTM!)

got a mention on pointless earlier. in football clubs starting with the letter 's' they scored 12. 10 fewer than the mighty southend. still, they've got the fact that somebody liam gallagher has a passing acquaintance with sports a sunderland tattoo keeping them in the spotlight. which is nice for them.

Don’t want to be getting him excited, try this instead…

Fuck off

So according to RTG, the next season of their Netflix comedy series will be called "The comeback". That is brutal

Anybody good with maths? Lets say I'm a bitter cunt and that i'm in the process of pointing out that the only 2 retained employees of a pool of 8 that have been made redundant are the only 2 employees that are friends with the boss on Facebook. I want to know what the probability of this happening would be if it was entirely random?

So, why doesn’t he spend that sort of money every season, you thick cunt?

SIX Finger Death Punch?

I think the odds were shorter than Bruce having a takeaway for his Christmas dinner

Afraid so - it will be the uneducated ill-informed voters, again

I mean this is the same Liam Gallagher who paid tribute to the Longstaff brothers a couple of weeks back at his gig and literally wore a Newcastle United shirt once....that guy? Absolute MLF

Alreet Yoda, settle down.

Just ask your more qualified female colleague after the roofies wear off.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/dec/19/white-house-trump-just-riffing-joke-congressman-hell-john-dingell It‘s shocking how he always gets away with stuff like this. Presidential my arse.

LL Cool J

They’re surely taking the piss at this point.

Called it?

I knew a blind lass who was the most mild-mannered, shy, and reserved person imaginable, but, out of the blue, she threw a bukkake party and invited over 20 total strangers. She still doesn’t know what came over her.

I’m currently working on 3 schemes for homeless people in Manchester, bedsit type things. Come furnished with all bills and communal wifi paid for. By the government? Nah we have had zero funding for them

Wanker

He fucking is.

Wykiki isn’t that bad, Gloomy.

Nice to see Gallagher’s environmentally aware by recycling his mam’s old tea towels.

that's a no then

Social media awash with scorn for 'sloping toilet' https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-50835604 Wipe Out the Sitters! ( pun absolutely intended.).

Given that her dad is Indian, I've reported this post to the moderating team.

You fancy her don't you?

I look forward to Labour coming out and telling us that the spike in new members joining shows that the party is fully behind Jeremy and he’s looking forward to leading us into election in 2024.

OMG AFTER WHAT YOU DID LAST TIME!? [/Renton]

Boris will claim it's Labour's fault for not stopping him, and the BBC will start talking about how ineffective the opposition was at a time of great national peril - and how only Boris can be trusted to do the work of both the government and the leader of the opposition.

AKA Lady Gaga syndrome.

Don’t worry, everyone else did too