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So effectively you have him until bed time, then sleep in your own quiet room whilst the Mrs is up all night with a screaming baby. Then you go to work while she has the baby all day on her own again?

Glad to hear that everything including the wife’s vag is okay.

Ken

Ffs he's making it difficult for me to want him to flop

He’s helping out at the NUFC foodbank this morning. What a fella

Get some powdered milk in, in case he's like his barrel-emptying fatha

Knackered. Son was born June 27th. Mrs Fish had 28hrs labour before ending up with a c-section because little man was in the wrong position and wasn't so little. Born at 01:57 am, weighing a hefty 10lbs (4.5kg). All fine and dandy, however the hospital boots people out at midnight, so we finally get down to the ward at about 4, and the midwife immediately tells me I have to leave. Normal birth that might not have been a problem, but Mrs Fish had been in hospital since 8am Monday, had been nil-by-mouth since tuesday night and hadn't slept properly in days. She could barely sit up, let alone pick up the chunky little bugger. Other parents from the Antenatal group said the partners were allowed to stay overnight in the other hospital we were considering. Anyway, he's mint, got the first couple of proper smiles last night.

Justice for them

That adds up to 96.

2 Trump articles that have made me laugh my tits off today are these. They sum him up in a nutshell. https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-windmills-cancer-cure-yelling-866587/?fbclid=IwAR0bd_3mZ35H0VC2hUQUS1e_rnVNSSEejN06nlqS2W4uq75vKdFSJ8qfznM https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2019/08/02/another-trump-nominee-goes-down-flames-this-is-big-one/?utm_term=.2a57511270dd

It is just about making things up you know your followers want to hear. You might think the J in his name stands for Joseph...

Never fear, friends. He’s finally curing AIDs and cancer. Absolutely insane that people in these positions can just shit out a steady stream of complete bollocks and it’s perfectly fine. It’s like when you test the suspension on asking to leave early one day and then, after it works, you’re at it every other day.

Breaking: Northumbria police release picture of suspected peeping tom loitering in the bushes in Benton near the NUFC training ground..... "The lengths ah go to for me loyal puntaz! Lol."

Scab!

Unfortunate surname… https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjnoM6Q18PjAhWv34UKHfACAW0QzPwBegQIARAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fnews%2Fworld-asia-india-49056791&psig=AOvVaw2nHBByewMwoi8fLWSs1WoT&ust=1563718402643400 ( I am such a child).

Hey Andrew, you can count.