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I hope he's smearing shit on all the whiteboards before he leaves.

Fuck off

Aye you don't get his trophy haul without knowing your onions. His arrogance/petulance is off-putting to some but if he did somehow end up here and was winning games people would probably lap it up

He wasn't happy with his centre halves at Man Utd and had bother getting the green light to replace them iirc. I blame the club and players for what happened there as much as I blame Jose. I've little doubt he'd have sorted it out if they'd continued to back/support him though. Doubt he's a busted flush, needs to pick his next job carefully though

Potentially, I just think he seems to do best when he’s basically able to dictate what the players do and give them a hard time. Players like Ronaldo, Pogba, Ramos, Lukaku, Kroos, and Phil Jones probably didn’t put up with it for too long. Whereas young Lampard, Terry, Carvalho, and Drogba bought in and got the success which led to them trusting him. Maybe I’m wrong and he’s somehow useless, but I don’t think the last 3 jobs suited him (Man U and Madrid are what they are and the Chelsea culture has become very volatile with a lot of player power). Again I could be simplifying it but I think he’s a brilliant manager and if we had any hope of getting him and Rafa had left I’d have him here in a heartbeat.

£70m is what they were looking for him last season. Good player but has a big step up to match that price tag.

He could never replace Jones or Smalling.

Lads, don't worry. We're not even gonna get close to having an opportunity to knock Mourinho back. (you fucking bellends ) We haven't even got the Sheikh's cash yet and already we're too good for Mourinho.

Love Fury me. Kid Galahad vs Warrington is the main event this weekend though

The Charity Shield of international tournaments would be a more apt comparison.

A Julian Assange destroy and exit if you will.

Because the offside rule was introduced to stop strikers camping out in the 6 yard box, 20yards behind the defensive line. Not to rule out goals because of a 1mm infraction

Bunch of eid the balls.

"The truth is often stranger than fiction, wor kid, said the man who once nearly got stuck into Wendy Taylor but decided that business and pleasure shouldn't mix as she basically didn't want to know."

of course he was referring to it as a shithole you thick fuck. Just the same as a “rainy monday night at stoke”..IE the last place on earth you’d want to play football at his level.

Called it.

They'll see that as an indication of relevance. File Hazard under MLF

The secret diary of Lee Ryder (aged 44 and a half) Transcript of live feed Twitter broadcast. (Edited by the evening chronicle) Lee Ryder: "Welcome to our outside broadcast and today we're in the sweltering heat and absolute vastness of the Arabian desert to discuss the s**t hot news of the takeover at Newcastle United football club. I've flew out here to dig deep and find out about the movers and shakers but am taking time out to answer all my loyal punters questions at this crazy time in magpies history. Fire away!" Troopz1967: " I've heard it's all a parcel of s***e and fatty is even now chiselling all the lead off the pipes in St James' park to sell at the quayside market." Lee Ryder: "Alright, Troopz? Troopz, let me tell you, some of my sources here in Abu Dubai are Adam and the ants it's all happening, wor kid." MalcolmNUFC: "Have you got to any of them harem's yet you dirty c**t? Giddup!" Lee Ryder: "Not now, Mala, I'll bell you after. Laters." ChristmasTree@clubtropicana: "Will the Sheikh open up a fans social club?" Lee Ryder: "My sources say there'll be massive investment not just in the playing staff but also in the community. Get the domino cards at the ready, Christmas Tree!" AntCOYBIG@TaytoCastle: "Sure I'm not even from Newcastle but I can see Tynemouth Priory in the background. You're not in the middle east." LeazesLad: "It's DEFINITELY King Edward's bay. What a weapons grade f*** nugget this kid is. You could pick 100 random people in the toon and they'd have more clue than you. Not even joking." Lee Ryder: "Err, I can see your confusion, Ant. That's not Tynemouth priory, and I'm not on the beach at King Edward's bay, I'm in the middle east in the desert and that's an, err, old French foreign legion fort that was over ran by Arab warriors in 1865 or something." Josh@ThomsonHouseaccountsdept: "Hi Lee, just a quick one. I've got your expenses for an all day metro ticket to the coast for today but you'll need a receipt for your food and drink at the 'Gibraltar Rock'. Cheers, mate." Lee Ryder: "Err, I'll see you tomorrow at the canteen when I fly back from Abu Dubai, Josh." SheilaRyder1948: "Lee, I'm popping in to the Harbour View. Do you want anything for your tea? I just fancy a chippy. Love, Mam. X " Lee Ryder: "Well, err, that's it for now for my outdoor fact finding mission in the land of Lawrence of Arabia. Until next time. Laters." Lee Ryder: "Can you get me a carton of curry with my fish and chips, mam?"