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Fuck me have they all chewed through the straps simultaneously?

Yesterday I travelled with the men of the “Dorset Yellows” via minibus to the ancient seat of learning that is the city of Oxford, dreaming of a flagon or two of fine ale amongst the dreaming spires and the beautiful butter-coloured Cotswold stone architecture of that fair town, only to arrive at the Blackbird, the only pub on the 1960s council estate Blackbird Leys, which older posters may remember was the scene of a large scale civil disturbance in the early 90s around the same time as Meadowell went up. Interesting pub for observers of social habits (or nosey bastards as they’re sometimes known, like me) as there appears to be two bars, one for the significant and long standing Caribbean community on the estate and one for those who may be termed “locals”. That’s not to say that there wasn’t a lot a cross pollination, but it was there none the less. This also affected the drinks on offer, Red stripe in cans & on draught also that really good Caribbean Guinness in bottles. So so we made our merry way to the nearby Kassam, a three sided concrete monstrosity that is a tribute to absolutely every single fuckin thing that is wrong with football in the 21st century, to be greeted by a horde of troglodyte orcs clad in red & white, grunting vaguely familiar chants that they may well have appropriated from a near geographical neighbour. Oxford are down in the basement of league 1 (and their utterly passionless crowd is indicative of this) but you couldn’t separate them in terms of quality from their simian visitors yesterday afternoon, both sides were fuckin abysmal. I have no idea if Will Grigg who couldn’t get a game at Wigan will turn out to be the signing they need to kick start their “promotion charge” because they appear not to have anybody who can provide any worthwhile service to him. He was anonymous, unlike ex QPR plastic jock knob jockey Jamie Machie, who busily lead Oxfords attack but missed three guilt edged chances in the first half alone. This invetibly lead to a mackem goal in first half injury time, a mess of a corner with their two gangly colt-like centre backs basically causing a “rummle” in the Oxford penalty area before some other mackem buffoon stabbed it home. Second half lots of huffing and puffing before the thrilling denounemont, a glorious counter attack by the Oxford winger who was the best player on the park by a mile who cut the ball back for substitute Browne to slide it home. Now there may have been an individual in the Oxford crowd quite close to the mackem section who was definetly old enough to know that running across seats to ram their shitty fuckin “big fish small pond” arrogance right back down their scrawny in bred throats was something that they definitely shouldn’t do under any circumstances. But I’m a right cunt for that sort of thing The evening was spent visiting the fleshpots of the Cowley Road, including the best Brewdog pub I’ve ever been in, a couple of delightfully dreadful 80s discos and a curry which we initially refused to pay for due to the 90 min wait we had to endure. Also possibly influenced by the 12 hour drinking session that was at that point very quickly unravelling. I think some money changed hands and the chef with the meat cleaver went back to the kitchen. So there you go, I am indeed that newly common species “Mag who watches the divi 3 mackems hoping to see them get beat”

In the ancient & Royal Scottish Border Burgh of Jedburgh the house where MQOS rode out from to visit her injured lover Boswell at Hermitage Castle in Liddesdale still exists, as does the blood soaked fortress 50 miles distant in the "debatable lands" I only mention this because on the day Mickey Quinn scored 4 on his debut v Leeds we went out in Jedburgh that evening and I pulled the cousin of a world famous Scottish international rugby player who looked like she'd been at the game too and had stolen two of the match balls and shoved them down her top. They remain to this day the biggest pair of norks I've ever seen. I bet you weren't expecting an anecdote that directly links your excellent film review to Newcastle United were you?

It’s the 4th biggest club in the Birmingham area

Desperate to be relevant.

This bloke’s such a nonce his pub looks like a primary school

He's been busy at graft.

Easy on there, no need for that sort of language.

Amazing side, until they came up against Rafa.

With the acquisition and sale of the property the fat cunt makes sure that his nasty ownership that only serves himself can never be forgotten. Great.

Norks.

I'd like to see the film where MF says "doesn't need any more tits".

Aye, one of a plethora of shit teams from the shithole of England. They need to find something to make themselves feel special. This week, we’re it.

Mary Queen of Scots. Decent enough, Margot Robbie choosing the “pretty plays ugly” part of Lizzy I. Saoirse Ronan is canny enough as Mary the Sweaty, but the whole thing is just a bit “Hollywood”. There’s some jarring (to me ), mistakes- Carlisle is depicted as a brooding, dark outpost surrounded by massive mountains, numerous scenes of the border are shot in Glencoe, and the biggest is the meeting between Mary and Lizzy- never happened. Other than that, it’s well shot, Guy Pearce is decent as William Cecil. Needs more tits.

Ashley is like the Marc Jacobs of Wolverhampton, no wonder this latest kiddy fiddler is a fan

Ashley goes an makes a record signing for you lot and that’s the thanks you give . You Geordies really do think you have some god given right to be someone above your station . No wonder mike Ashley is the way he is even when he puts his hand in his pocket he gets no thanks . yes mike could have done more over years , but he is a businessman and a very good one at that . He makes money , and runs Newcastle club as a business . Even that being the case he’s still gone on and managed to employ a very decent manager in Benitez . Get you back up to premiership in one season, unlike your neighbours , Also assemble a decent squad with now breaking your transfer record in jan . Think that calls for a thank you Mike Ashley myself . Stay humble

I was in with the Wolves that day....Scotty scored after about 10 mins so had to keep very quiet for a very long time....also this is the only NUFC game my brother has been to, the jambo twat

I'm confused, why are there so many Wolves fans posting here? It's starting to feel like this game is really important to them or something. And I'm not entirely sure why that would be. This is pretty much how Newcastle fans will see the various results options, for all the Wolves fans: A loss - Fuck you Mike Ashley A draw - Meh + Fuck you Mike Ashley A narrow win - Ah that's nice + Fuck you Mike Ashley A big win - this team man + Fuck you Mike Ashley None of our responses will have anything to do with you guys - we're having our own existential crisis as a club and we really don't give a shit about everyone else at this point. You're just 'the opposition' on Monday. Sorry.

Subtle

Looking forward to the game Monday night . Newcastle fighting to keep relegation back to the championship worry’s at bay , and wolves in the mini league with Watford for that 7th spot ! I’m hoping to see a big crowd of Geordie away fans down at the golden palace similar to when we played Sunderland in the championship . They bought a fair few fans that day , and made it a great atmosphere . With you two clubs being of similar size with you just being marginally bigger only due to your catchment area I’m expecting a similar experience . Will predict a 2-1 wolves win with Newcastle coming to frustrate and pile 11 men behind the ball hoping rondon can nick a lucky goal . All the best with relegation and for the rest of the season

Fond memories of Molinuex tbh. A 1-0 win courtesy of Kevin Scott and a spotty Wolves fan trying to take the piss and getting absolutely fucking crucified by us all for about 10 mins before moving away from the fence virtually in tears before someone kindly threw a coin off his napper as he left. It wasn't big or clever but quite amusing when you're 16 year old. I Roilly howp this wolves fan was that spottoi fan.

Needs a cherry tomato

He’s also unimaginative. Here he is , in October last year, same name, word for word (other than visiting club name), the same post. Yam Yam Noncesense

Gemmill is the only ginger haired tart in my life.