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Donkey: "Look, that's lovely Wyki but I only wanted a carrot." Wyki: "nom nom, slurp......I'll have a tab.....slurp......when I'm done.....slurp.....and I'll..... Nom nom.....get you a carrot then."

I know you shouldn't laugh, but... christ almighty https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-46475631

There's a nice offer on Amazon - if you buy all Adam & The Ants sheet music, they'll throw in a stand and deliver

CT is out for Pub Night, on his own, annoying the fuck out of the poor bar staff. In walks Terry Fuckwit from Viz, and sits next to his brethren. After a few seconds of trying to count, they get bored and start watching the 10pm news, just as a report of some guy threatening to jump off the Tyne Bridge comes on. Terry slaps £50 down and says, ” I bet you he jumps!” CT slaps a tenner down and says ” Bet you he doesn’t! ” As soon as he’s finished speaking, the bloke on the bridge launches himself in to a swan dive and becomes pavement pizza within seconds. CT congratulates Terry and hands him his winnings. Terry guiltily says, ” I can’t take your money, fatty, I’d already seen the same report on the 6pm news” CT replies, ” Me too, but I didn’t think he’d be daft enough to jump this time.”

Many have missed the point about it being postponed. It's sensible to wait until after the window closes. If the club isn't sold and players aren't bought protests will renew with some vigour and I'm sure more people will be willing to join in rather than the predictable feeble turnout for the planned boycott. It also prevents Ashley from blaming fan negativity should a takeover not materialise. People responding to TMG with vitriol doesn't bode well for the future, mind.

Well, my one match without losing seems good. Not quite up there with Glooms run last season or Troops this season. But still no loses! Newcastle's third Premier League game in nine days sees them face Wolves at SJP this coming Sunday (Dec 9th) in a 4pm kickoff live on Sky Sports. The Magpie Group had been urging fans to boycott this game but they have now dropped that plan in the light of recent developments regarding the club's sale. NUFC: Matt Ritchie will be available after serving a one match ban against Everton in midweek but there are injury doubts over Kenedy and Karl Darlow. WWFC: Ahead of their visit to Tyneside, Nuno Espirito Santo's side beat Chelsea 2-1 at home on Wednesday. Jonny Otto remains out but Rubin Neves is available following a one match suspension. Currently sitting six points and two places ahead of Newcastle in 12th, Wolves began their away fixture programme with a 0-2 loss at Leicester before winning 1-0 at West Ham and drawing 1-1 at Old Trafford. A second victory on the road then came thanks to a single goal success at Crystal Palace before a 0-1 defeat at Brighton followed by a 1-1 draw at Arsenal. Their most recent away game saw them beaten 1-2 at Cardiff City, a tally of five away goals the lowest in the PL aside from the Bluebirds who have managed three. Taken from .com 1-0 Win. Rondom smashing one in from close range on the 8th minute mark.

Keep the 5 at the back and shithouse our way to a 2-0 win.

https://www.football365.com/news/manager-in-the-media-everyones-favourite-rafael-benitez

(No Gemmill) anyway:

Just spent £300 quid on a limousine for Christmas do. The fee doesn't include a driver! Can't believe I spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it..

Norway actually pays more to the EU per capita than we do and of course accept FoM. I was an advocate but after the way we've pissed around it's now a non-starter. I just find out arrogance incredible. We have all these debates internally without any notion of what EU and Efta countries want or will be prepared to accept. I am beginning to think only a hard as fuck, disorderly, no deal Brexit, will get the message across that we aren't some exceptional nation inherently superior to everyone else. This process is proving quite the contrary in fact.

It'll all be fine

Unsurprisingly Atlanta have said "why the fuck would we loan out our best player?"

Pete Shelley A supremely underrated songwriter

I didn’t know Brian Harvey had moved to Florida

So Mrs. Fist came in from work today and said, (subtle as a brick), “ Three of the girls at work had flowers delivered from their partners. They were beautiful…” I said “ That’s probably why they got the flowers.” Any ideas how to reduce the swelling on my black eye?

Take no notice of wykikitoon, folks… … hee aww, hee awwlways says that.

My point was uptake for the boycott was going to be feeble, just like it was for the walk in. If/when it's confirmed that it's all been bollocks appetite for a boycott will be far higher and more successful. Don't know why it's been so difficult for some to get their head around. The comment section on the Mag has them claiming that the MG and Alex Hurst (wtf) are both Tory Ashley collaborators ffs.

So are you going to give him your ticket or not?

Well maybe if watching big, burly men flexing their muscles is your thing.

Small, bitter and unpopular. Sounds about right.

It definitely didn’t get the responses he was hoping for. What a sad cunt.

Daily dose of obsessive mackem weirdness for you https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/what-would-be-the-greater-achievement.1454002/ They seem to bring up the intertoto cup a lot, very strange

Saying Cameron is a hero for offering us a referendum is like praising the parent of a toddler who has been furnished with a handgun and then shot itself. We the people were too fucking stupid to vote on this CT. We had no clue what we wanted, no clue what the EU was, how it affected our lives and what leaving would mean. And he fucking knew this but did it anyway. He's a sociopath at best. At best!

http://labourmanifesto.com/2001/2001-labour-manifesto.shtml @Christmas Tree can you point out where taking the Euro as currency is mentioned in Labours 2001 manifesto? Take your time mate, no dramas...

Contempt of Parliament v contempt of court? 🤔 My paternal grandfather was done for CoC sometime in the 1920s.... he’d been nicked for D&D in the town of Duns in Berwickshire. He was up in front of the sheriff (equivalent to magistrates) on the Monday morning and was asked what he had to say for himself. He thought for a moment before apparently replying: ”Well your honour, I certainly wasn’t as pissed as you were at the Freemasons ball last year” 30 days The Tory cabinet think they’re above what Parliament tells them to do. Who are they supposed to be representing again?...

We'll be under new ownership by then lads, perfect opportunity for Griezmann to make his Newcastle debut.

Nearly