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Your tits are gonna look like empty windsocks when you lose all the fat out of them. Like a couple of bits of white toblerone.

It helps that she looks like she died in a house fire I imagine

This is literally the only message Labour needs to be hammering home right now, and instead we're relying on the presenter of The Word to say it. Might as well appoint Huffty as Shadow NI Secretary while they're at it, she probably knows more than Karen Bradley anyway.

Has anyone suggested opening a pub yet?

Used to get in loads around the time it had dropped the 'Royal' prefix but before it was Mr Lynch. Purely because you could pretty much always get a game of pool because it used to 4 tables in that room on the side. It was fucking shit like with terrible beer on draft. Used to have a Karoake night on a Friday and there'd be about 10 people in including the bar staff. One time this spotty young kid did Stairway to Heaven with his lass. He was absolutely fucking terrible at singing and his lass just mimed along but the best part was seeing them stood there not knowing what to do for the first minute or so before there's any words

Funny, every time I went to the Archer it was full of RGS nobheads. Your kids have them to thank for their existence. Now theres a thought....

I remember a while back and I was talking about it with somebody and I had practically erased Kinnear's tenure from my memory like it had never happened. It was like a jolt when I remembered it really had

When I done the train years ago I thought it was going to be like an Orient Express type affair, was it fuck. It was just the shitty normal train to Hexham then a curry in the restaurant in the station. What a pile of shite.

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-45447818 All for one joke.

Make sure you're counting all of your calories properly as well. I see a lot of fatties fail because they just assume there'll be nowt in the sauce they're putting on their food or aren't counting the milk or sugar in their coffee and whatnot

Proper fucking Jonah you like.

Old Max here speaks for us all I feel...

Just stumbled across this. Random but kind of brilliant.

Aye, these Jewish MPs should pipe down about the anti-semitic abuse they've been receiving from Labour members. They should have a bit of perspective.

What Elvis was trying to push out, basically

He bought Paul McKenna’s “Think Yourself Thin” but he got stuck on “Think”

How about we round up an army of tramps from Newcastle and the surrounding areas and offer them 20 quid each to go into Ashley's stores and pitch their tents in the donnay section (id accept Slazenger), they can use the £1 sports direct cups as piss jugs and wipe their arses with the Lonsdale 3 quarter length trackies.

Makes clothes buying easier though.