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Dear diary, ah was looking through me twitter feed for the 'fallout' which is a term us long toothed, grizzled hacks call the moaning after a match when ah seen Craig Hope losing his fucking mind critisiz, criticieze, err, being a cheeky cunt with the puntas favourite, one Lee Ryder Esq. Ah couldn't believe the lippy cunt had the cheek to call the TRINITY MIRROR REGIONAL SPORTS WRITER of the FUCKING YEAR out as embarrassing?! Fuck me, diary, had the kid been on medication talking like that to the former toon army footsoldier who once offered on some Watford fans across the street at vicarage road in the days of the mighty Quinn? Ah thought ahd say nowt for now but hopeys crossed the fucking line here and he's in proper danger of a moothful of seaton deleval knuckle. There's only one boy on the United beat and it isn't a kid who was wanking over Buffy the vampire slayer when ah was marching behind a polis escort at Leeds. Lol. Laters.

Steve Howey in “nail on the head on sky sports” shocker.....

As funny as the latest instalment of Ryder's diary is, I feel like I should mention that Craig Hope is given an express indict to dig up and be controversial about any North East football story he can get. This means he gets clicks from "engagements" on Twitter and will probably get a fantastic response from the Mail for engaging Ryder in the way he did. While it's no secret that Ritchie and Lascelles went at it and that the latter is struggling with the idea of competition, it's telling that nobody else is reporting the story. As badly advised as Ryder attacking Hope was, that's the general opinion of all the other local journos, as I understand. The Lascelles/Diame scrap last season was no different to the Ritchie/Lascelles scrap this time around; the only difference is, when Newcastle are losing, people want to hear that everything is going wrong and in steps Craig Hope. This isn't me brushing off arguments between coach and captain but I wield my ITK banner carefully and always, always, be wary of the Daily fucking Mail

Not as glamorous but I’m in the lakes. Got fucking steaming last night before/during and after our tea. Was rough this morning, been on a boat loads so that made me feel a lot better... Going grasmere and Ambleside tomorrow for more food and drink

Can't believe how much Newcastle airport has changed since my last trip a year ago. Passport control has more than quadrupled in size, with I think 12 passport check points. Cordons everywhere, mildly threatening posters telling you not to use your phone, loiter, and that they will find out if you are a wrong un. A line marking the point where you are on UK soil. Surly controllers and highly visible presence from Northumbria police. Clearly in preparation for Brexit? Newcastle is a provincial airport with I suspect 90% of flights catering for domestic or EU holiday destinations. I can only assume this is an attempt to intimidate EU citizens. Also our one flight from a 737 took more than half an hour to process. Nearly everyone would have been a UK citizen. Welcome to May's Britain.

Just got back from a week in Malcesine, lake Garda. It was my third trip to Garda but the other two were at the flatter southern end. This place was amazing. To wake up every day in the heat and opposite you are huge cliffs and mountains, some with snow still on, was amazing. The town itself is fantastic, full of interesting streets and alley ways with great places to eat and drink. Got the boat to Limone across the lake. This place looks like a set from Lord of the Rings, hewn out of cliff which tower above it for thousands of feet. Might go there next time. Think I will make Italy my holiday destination of choice for the next few years, and bin Spain, which doesn't match it imho. It must be the most beautiful country in the world, without exception. So many amazing places and superb food and drink. I like Italians too. Also noticed EU flags everywhere and about half the companies are prefixed with "Euro". They are entirely comfortable with being European and Italian. I still just don't understand why they don't want to be part of this project. For the most part, the UK is an unwelcoming shit hole compared to Italy.

Noelie you get a telegram from the queen every year, what more do you want?

That's Ashleyball. Fucking shit & if it's ever not shit for a brief moment he makes it shit as if a reminder has popped on his phone.

Nor the destination. Pallion. It’s a bridge to fucking Pallion

If he wanted to pack in, why did he get his PR people to do that godawful brochure for him so he could get another transfer. Surely he wasn't just interested in lining his pockets.... https://thespoiler.co.uk/revealed-michael-owen-glossy-brochure/

Anyone else just take a guess at their A-Level results on their CV? I remember getting an A in History but I can't remember if it was a B in English or not. Does anyone here remember what I got?