Recently got my latest brain scan results in and the cancer is still not spreading. I've got 17 months to go before I reach the end of year 5 without being dead. Given there are four grades of brain tumour and mine is number 3, I'll be ecstatic if I make it, because what they've said is, few do make it that long with what I've got but the ones who do can totally defeat the odds. I think avoiding stress is helping and also having self belief in at least lasting a decade is helpting me defeat the odds that are stacked against me. I've lost so much, I wouldn't say I'm brain dead, but I forget where I'm going sometimes, I forget to switch things off, my short term memory is tolerable one day, then the next I think who the fuck am I? My long term memory bizarrely (obviously) isn't as good, but I remember things from 1988 at the match more than what I did yesterday. I hate the word "incurable", I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, it's horrible, but I'll never give up, never. Anyway lets hope I get to this 17 month point, it'll help me stop wondering about what happens when I die, and will I never see NUFC win anything.