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I think I'd rather we signed no one than we signed Troy Deeney

Including the quote that's your second shortest post ever.

He didn't build any roads or aqueducts

I'm back to almost hoping we go down so 20m "saved" now costs the cunt 200m.

I'm not sure what these words mean in this order buy I wholeheartedly agree.

Garlic-roasted. Say it with carcinogens, innit.

Anyone want to buy a 'Do the Sturridge' cap?

He's shite anyway. Wouldn't get into our first XI

I had a mental month at the bookies too. Deposited £10 and after a few clever bets here and there lost £10.

So, government should be held to account over this by the opposition leader but, because they aren't the person actually doing that is just after attention. #cakeAndEatIt

It's poor leadership but at the same time they're completely fucked by the broad dichotomy of Labour voters - working class provincial anti-immigrant leavers versus metropolitan staunch remainers. I know that's sweeping generalisations but it's hard to find a position to keep them all happy.

I confidently predict that Sturridge won't end up here. In fact I'm almost certain we will sign no one.

He went on Marr yesterday and said something like "ooh it's a bit weird when your mate becomes POTUS".... I think at that point if I were Marr I'd have saif something along the lines of how the fuck can you be objective and hold him properly to account if you claim to be his friend? But Marr didn't, because he too is part of the cosy media/politician gang which renders nearly all comment from leading figures in both camps as utter fuckin bollocks...

Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this!

Alright, so Mike Ashley forced the resignation of Kevin Keegan. Yes, he renamed St. James' Park. Also, since he's been here we've got a terrible record in the league and F.A. Cups. It's true that under him we've become a selling club. True that under his regime long time supporters have stopped attending games. Alright, so we've been relegated twice and perhaps another one coming. But apart from forcing Keegans resignation, renaming St. James' Park, getting terrible results in cup games, becoming a selling club, long time supporters suffering terrible times, been relegated twice under his tenure... What has Mike Ashley ever done to piss us off, EH?!

The latest Thor. Probably wouldn’t have bothered with it had it not been directed by the guy who directed What We Do In The Shadows. Glad I did though, it’s certainly the best Thor film and one of the best comic book films in ages. It seems they generally work better when played for laughs.