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I always like how it's "Sam Allardyce: Never Been Relegated" like it's some kind of special achievement. You don't see people saying "Alex Ferguson: Never been relegated" because he was an actual, successful manager who won things and didn't need his mates in the press, inventing achievements that nobody else has ever considered a success. Charlatan is right. A man that is so unsuccessful, he's convinced legions of people that mediocrity is a benchmark, not a hurdle to be surpassed.

Once caught a fish alive.

I don't know why you're all torturing yourselves If we bring anyone in, treat it as a mildly diverting surprise. But I personally don't expect anything to happen. If that is the case then whether Rafa can be arsed to try to keep us up after January 31st am not too sure...

Just shows that they can concede. We’ll stick four past them.

"You can reach me by railway You can reach me by trail-way You can reach me on an airplane You can reach me with your mind You can reach me by caravan Cross the desert like an Arab man I don't care how you get here, Cos you're still getting fuck all to spend. You can reach me by sailboat Climb a tree and swing rope to rope Take a sled and slide down slow, into these arms of mine You can jump on a speedy colt Cross the border in a blaze of hope I don't care how you get here, Cos you're still getting fuck all to spend" I'm told from reliable sources this is the answer phone message on Mike Ashley's phone whilst he's up to his eyes in pina coladas and all inclusive scran.

Youve found a good value tech if there was a fair bit of fretwork and hes only charged you £75!

Wait...you mean the EXACT argument they dismissed when we made it in Benitez's defense in our relegation season?

They're buried man. They need to find 2 forwards just to be as good as they were in the first half of the season

Just watched the last BM, called Black museum. Reminiscent of white Christmas and even refers to it. Beyond disturbing.