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I heard when Ashley heard that Kenedy was driving up to sign a lucrative loan deal he tried to get Lee Harvey Oswald over

Joe Harvey's testimonial brochure....his notes are frankly magical... https://www.flickr.com/photos/125837901@N03/sets/72157690926554734/with/38690498454/

That Andy Carroll double has just won me £120 spurs, citeh, palace and wist am

No Souness, but we did run into this miserable fucker... Just to say it was 13 degrees Celsius in Bournemouth on Saturday lunchtime and the cunt was still done up like a low rent Yorkshire pimp from 1973....."DAVID CAN YOU TELL THOSE PEOPLE TO MOVE ON PLEASE THEYRE DISTRACTING ME" he bleated (geddit??! ) to his director whilst we were all saying how fuckin old he looked.... someone uttered something about cancelling their licence fee because of his fuckin attitude and off we wandered for more free booze...

Europe is horribly expensive now for some reason I can't put my finger on....

i'm doing what i always do first day back after christmas break - dodging work and planning next holidays. while naturally knocking back several shop-bought coffees.

Even worse, I’m still off and looking after the kids

How’s long does it take you to get dressed like?

Does anybody want to see a decent copy of the Justice League film ?

Not just that but immeasurably better than we could hope for in the event he goes. Should the worst happen then the minuscule silver lining would be that weapons grade knackers like Noelie and that pissed keyboard warrior will get the manager they deserve

Rafa is the best manager we’ve had since keegan/sir bobby

Another good away performance where our first goal should have really been our third. What Clark was even attempting for his miss, I've no idea but, other than the last 10 minutes, I thought we were in full control. Stoke, to me, looked like us during the dying embers of Pardew/Carver; rudderless, leaderless with a severe lack of graft. Why Allen and Adam were giving Shelvey 5-10 yards space to pick a pass out every time is a total mystery but that's the kind of shit that the likes of Wigan and Rotherham knew better to do last season ffs. They were always going to come at us in the last 10 minutes with the score being tight but if we had put Merino on instead of Hayden, I think he either scores or picks the right pass during one of those two counter attacks at the end. Still, a good performance and well deserved. Also, what else do we need to get a penalty? Zouma practically curb stomped Gayle and nothing was given. And I should hope that the ref checks his arrogance next time when he's standing telling our lads "No chance. No way" when he sees the replay back and realises he's made a right fucking pig's arse of it. He won't though. He'll be well protected by the FA and he'll continue to make embarrassing decisions like the rest of his pals who, to a man, are as blind as a goat's arse. That's before mentioning Joe Allen making two bookable offences in the space of about 90 seconds but still playing the full 90. Refereeing decisions against us are basically systematic racism; nobody is really intending to do it, it's just been in place for years and will probably never change.

Apart from that blip when lascelles was injured and Lejeune was crap, we are still a hard team to beat or break down. Our problem is we are clueless past the midfield. Obviously long term we need some quality all around the team in every area, but for the remainder of this season a top drawer midfielder and a proven forward or no 10 in January will see us ok I think. A bit of defensive cover would be good if possible to get Mankini off the pitch, maybe this Kennedy lad on loan ..

7 points from 4 games and one was vs Man City. Not sure what all the pant shitting was about

Cuntflipper would be more apt.