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We’ve got a better chance of winning the FA Cup than Liverpool have 👍🏻

Hey lads Just had a message from one our fine members and I said something which I thought I’d share with you all. So.… One of the things I love most about here is that, even though we’re mostly total strangers to each other in real life, whenever one of us is suffering we come together like few places I’ve seen in t’interweb or real life. It’s my time to now be the recipient, and it really does mean so much to me, so thanks, each and every one of you. Even if you are a pack of twats

A-RAM-Co?

It’s mostly the accent tbf.

"Stevie, mug righter, all knowing weight scale of all the fanbases, are you there? Give us a sign, wor kid."

Going to lower league opposition making 8/9 changes and winning isn’t for everyone tbf

What really matters is that we took all 2.8 points home. Fucking statistics.

He walked away from Man U with a £4.1m payoff. Not bad for five months work.

Brothers funeral today, liver is going to take a beating worse than Arsenal later

Apart from the Wham hoodie reference my favourite bit of their tarted up account (that is effectively adjudged to be inaccurate) is this appended on the end: "It should be noted that Mr Tindall also displayed this type of behaviour last season at our match at Villa Park." Mr Emery can you please show us on the doll where he shushed you.

Huh.... OK THEN.

This has legs.

Well I got the job! So am about to take a 20% pay cut, lose out on my bonus due next month (£10k, fucking timing) and begin my career again in the public sector. And I couldn't be happier. Would not recommend working for a US company.

Knight Ryde with the latest news.

You'll have to toughen up if you want to last around here, you massive cunt.

So, rolling back the years here….does anyone want to explain Xpoints? how are we measuring that particular parcel of imaginary made up fuckin bollocks? 😀

Ha! Didn’t go!

"Welcome to the Etihad for Manchester City versus Liverpool and we'd just like to apologise to any viewers who may have heard or seen another game earlier on. Again, we can only apologise for interrupting your Liverpool football club build up but under contractual obligations we have to show it. Anyway, now for the main event...."

sounds like the day out from fucking hell to me.

Puma suedes are a classic shoe. I understand that news may have not got through to Ballykissangel just yet though

Absolutely delighted to see that they think they've been hard done to. Also I don't know what Slot said to the ref, but he went up to him, shook his hand and said something, and as soon as Michael Oliver had his hand back he produced the red card. So the stupid cunt has obviously thought he can make himself look like a great bloke for the cameras whilst sticking the boot in on the ref. Shiny headed knob.

The whole squad should get off the team bus wearing them.

So the “HELLO TO ALL FELLOW CUNTS ON TOONTASTIC.NET #STANDUPWIPERSARESCUM” banner will be approximately in the position indicated by the arrow below

I am now waiting for the majority of PL clubs agreeing on a ban of Wham hoodies tbh.

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/newcastle-uniteds-jason-tindall-confronted-30975523 "Both clubs and Victor Manas admitted to their respective charges, and Jason Tindall denied the allegation against him. The Regulatory Commission imposed a £30,000 fine and warning upon Aston Villa, a £20,000 fine and warning upon Newcastle United, and a two-match ground ban and £4,000 fine on Victor Manas. The Regulatory Commission found the charge against Jason Tindall to be not proven, and he will face no further action." Classic. The whole read reflects rather poorly on Villa and their staff including Unai Emery. Also appears that they were wound up by his Wham hoody and they threw in an equivalent to "he's been doing it all game ref". Poor diddums. Howe and Tindall just trying to do their jobs should not have to deal with such violence in the workplace.

Renton and wykiki coming face to face in London, definitely no pun intended....

And me.

Looking forward to Broccoli Head Jr. Pleased to hear there have been some nice moments for you in a very shitty time. My gran died a year ago, and my mam is taking the house, but it has sat for a year while they sell theirs etc. All of my gran's stuff still in it. Anyway, the time has come in the last month to clear it out, so she's been there with my sister, obviously an unpleasant thing to do, as you'll know. Loads of memories and their entire lives in cupboards and drawers. Heartbreaking shit like taking their dressing gowns off the back of the bedroom door - my granddad had died a few years earlier, but my gran had never wanted to take his down. Anyway, at the back of one of the cupboards was a bag with an old handbag in it, and a note that my Gran had written to remind her that my mam and her (long dead) brother had saved up for weeks to buy this for her when they were teenagers. My mam was in bits, but she also feels like it was her final gift from her mam that she obviously treasured this thing for 60 years, that my mam assumed would have been thrown out years ago.

"Gemmill v The Broken Doll, xDs (divorces) Vs xBOs (Banning orders) Moveable object Vs Stoppable Force And IT'S LIVE!!!"

And let’s face it, Gemma has more x’s than most on here 😀

"Fucking geddoff'iz you fucking bizzie cunt, whaddiva done?" "Sir, I'm arresting you for a serious breach of not taking xG, xP and any other exes that gemmill mentions seriously. You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence when ewerk dredges it up from his extensive toontastic database."

Unrelatedly, I have a new desk toy.

Lads I'm sorry for mentioming the smug bassist from Blur. Can we move on . FFS

Jonas presenting Bruno with the Most Fouled Player trophy brings a tear to my eye. Even more so when it's so clear how much it means to Bruno.

😂😂😂

That was nailed on

can't be arsed to trawl back through the thread to work out how blur got involved in it but I just thought i chip in with the following.... 'girls and boys' is quite comfortably the worst fucking abomination of a record ever produced both lyrically and for the ear bleedingly shite tune that accompanies them. infact, the only single that even comes remotely close to challenging the above is fucking 'parklife' another painfully pathetic ditty with the added horror of featuring phil daniels who was a simpering cunt in quadrophenia, very obviously a cunt in eastenders on the odd occasion I had the misfortune to claps eyes on it and an absolute tuneless thundercunt as a singer.. hated liam and noel with a passion, still do. however in the north v south battle of the bands I would've happily armed the fuck head brothers with pick axe handles, machetes and guns.

I used to go out with a girl who worked at Polydor records. One day she rang me up and said meet me at the Brixton Acadamy tonight but wouldn't say why. Got there and there was a queue of teenage girls outside, wierd I thought It was a couple of nights before Wham were playing The Final Day at Wembley and they were playing a secret warm up gig and this girl hadd a couple of record company passes I though it would be a bit of a laugh but to this day it's the greatest gig I've ever seen. They started with Everything she Wants and the noise was just unbelievable. Lights went down screaming started, 2 spotlights picked out their arses twitching from side to side, place just went insane. Whole thing was fucking wild, watching from record company free bar with record company grade coke. What a might. Loved Wham ever since

I don't believe any of the stuff about Tindall getting aggressive and violent. If you're winding someone up by shushing them, you don't then turn violent if they react. You continue to shush them. Unai Emery is the Golden Snitch.

Fair play to Aston Villa. Their account makes Mad Dog sound like an absolute legend.

Plymouth captain “I fucking love it fucking love it” live on tv……brilliant 🤣

Man City are like the prim and proper good catholic girl who stayed faithful to her husband through hard times. But then she found out her husband had cheated on her so she spread her legs for the plumber, the window cleaner, and the newspaper boy. But now she's ashamed and got her faith back. Newcastle - the milk man - are knocking but is she going to let us in? Yes, yes she is. For Callum, anything is possible. 3-2 to the us's.

Because it made me laugh.

Some really good stuff about last night, the TF match report in particular is spot on. Michael Martin fuckin hits the nail square on the fuckin heed with this though… https://bsky.app/profile/tfmick1892.bsky.social/post/3lhqa3usyl22w https://bsky.app/profile/scottwilsonecho.bsky.social/post/3lhqidbuvyk2b

Don't listen to him wyki, you still look great.