Leaderboard

They never uttered a fucking peep when Abramovich was laundering Putin’s money through Chelsea. I think the odd one has basically mentioned they were scared of litigation. Which doesn’t really say much for their journalistic integrity but also begs the question as to why they never mention it now either, given how obvious the consequences of turning a blind eye to that and the other oligarchs was at the time. They all fucking went to the World Cup there after he’d already invaded Ukraine and annexed a large part of the country. Louise Taylor wrote a gushing article about Qatar and only admitted afterwards when she got found out that the Qatari government had paid for the trip. And most of all, if you claim to care about human rights abuses in Saudi but only bring it up in relation to NUFC then it’s plain as day what really bothers you. Go and fucking fuck yourselves, you hypocritical cunts

Core memory made tonight. My 64 year old dad was my daughters age the last time we won a trophy

Just got back home. Spent the day in the centre circle section of Club Wembley before getting guest list for Limp Bizkit at Wembley Arena Its hard to put into words how mental that was & the feeling of seeing the players lift the trophy in black & white ribbons. Best day of my life. 🏆🥇

Congrats lads and lasses if any club and city deserves a trophy it’s you guys best team won on the day fair play, enjoy the celebrations yous deserve it cheers

And while I’m on a roll, a special mention for Kieron Trippier. He joined us from a CL contender when we were in danger of relegation and was one of the key players in dragging us to safety and CL qualification. He may be past his best now but was fantastic today. If he leaves in the summer then at least he can do it with a winner’s medal. It was nice to see him going up to lift the trophy with Bruno but the fact that the both of them making sure that Lascelles made his way up to lift it with them just speaks volumes about the squad we have and the camaraderie that Eddie and Mad Dog have instilled. Legends, every one of them.

It's not JUST winning a fucking trophy, it's turning over fucking Liverpool to do it. That is exactly what we needed to actually kick on a level and Howe and the lads fucking did it. I know I came out beforehand and said I thought we could win but honestly it was the most slender of hopes. Eddie Howe, for me, is now a club legend. Along with half that fucking team. Winning that might even keep the likes of Isak around in the summer, it proves we actually can succeed. FFS it's huge. So proud of the club. And as I've seen a few people on here say now - I love all of you. Wouldn't be the same to enjoy these moments without you all. Cheers lads, and congrats.

Aye, nice to see them out enjoying themselves.

Coming soon to a movie theatre near you... An MLF production..... Inspired by real life events......

Got back from London about 1pm……and immediately watched the entire match on catch up Am still stunned and unable to properly process everything….think I’m happiest for Geoffrey who I mentioned the other day, he was at one of the PL games we played v spurs at Wembley (we lost both, obvs) so it was 8 games he’d been at without victory at Wembley…this is him at full time with his son Chris ☺️

I am at the airport waiting for my flight. It’s been a fantastic couple of days with the purest excitement I have ever experienced watching football. The joy of Germany winning tournaments doesn’t compare to what happened yesterday.

I’ve thought about nothing else on the drive home. That was the best game I’ve ever watched, for so many reasons. The performance was just legendary - intense, aggressive and intelligent, every man on that team knew exactly what their job was when in or out of possession, and every one of them executed it perfectly. First half in particular it was extraordinary to watch, our pressing was so aggressive that the Dippers didn’t know what had hit them. What was excellent to watch was in the few times they had possession and attempted to advance, our men snapped in to their defensive positions in a matter of seconds. I had a good feeling before the game, and by midway through the first half I was daring to think “we might actually do this”, and when Burn buried that header I went fucking mental. My emotions have never been so raw before and during a game as they were yesterday, and it all came out in a guttural mix of joy, relief and bit of grief. Second half, I felt that when Slot just started throwing forwards on, it was an acknowledgement that we had them beat. Howe was ice fucking cold, his tactics were clinical, and then training he’d put the lads through was evident. At the final whistle, I totally lost it- laughing, crying, roaring, smacking the roof and sides of my cab, I went nuts I read the BBC write-up, and the comments, and there was a good few neutrals being very magnanimous and complimentary, and the usual pricks saying “ It’s just the League Cup!” They totally missed the point- it wasn’t “just the League Cup”, it was years of disappointment, learning to temper expectations, seeing our club rise and fall and rise again and fall again, hearing the fucking lines “ it’s been “x” years since Newcastle won a trophy” trotted out by lazy commentators, envy watching tinpot fucking non-entities of clubs winning trophies, becoming almost used to being plucky losers. That final whistle pissed all that away in a split second- replaced by validation, relief, release, sheer, utter, joy! We aren’t the plucky losers anymore, that’s history, we’ve won, and won in a manner that will stay with me until the day I die. Every single member of that team, the coaches, medical staff, catering, all of them, have earned the right to call themselves local heroes, because they fucking are. Howe has pissed on the timeline again, I can not wait to see what the summer brings, and the seasons to follow. (I’m parked up at Ferrybridge just now, when I got out to go for a brew, as soon as I opened my door I heard what I thought was a load of our support, still shouting and bawling, and thought “ Get in, lads!” As I walked up the trucks park though, I realised it wasn’t. Two trucks, parked right in the middle of a row of wagons, with trailers full of cockerels crowing their fucking lungs out There was a Czech lad sat in his cab right next to them, clearly sleep-deprived, in his shorts, looking like an utterly defeated man, thousand yard stare, the lot

Sunderland lost, Heaton Stan won and I’m having a pint with Isegrim. The stars are aligning

I couldn't agree more mate.

well... the ticket i thought i had went tits up about a week ago, firstly it was a concessionary one for 16-21 yr olds, which I was happy enough to take a punt on, but then the price went up by another £350, fuck that. spent the last week hoping a one would fall out the sky and land on me lap, but it didn't. what can you do? seems it wasn't meant to be for me to be there so yesterday was tinged with a bit of sadness, thankfully however far outweighed by utter joy, we fucking battered the bindipping cunts! the wife was hilarious, spent the entire game on her feet in front of the tele and then broke down in tears of joy at the final whistle, she's fucking cornish man, but by god she's been well and truly adopted! me 87 year old man had obviously shed a few tears too when I spoke to him after the match, I wondered if I had enough time left to see us lift a trophy again, he definitely didn't think he had. deeply envious of those that were there but infinitely happier for EVERYBODY who's invested their time and heart in to this mental, basket case of a club. onwards we go....

Congratulations guys and gals well deserved football isn't just about winning, it's a bout the joy of going to the game with friends and family but bloody hell, on days like that the winning doesn't half make up for the pain of losing hope you all enjoyed every single second of it. i was driving from manchester to london with my daughter after going home for the brighton game. had it on in the car. i'm absolutely made up for big dan burn. always liked the lad. a monster of player but seems like a diamond geezer. the fact it was liverpool makes it all the sweeter. hmm did you knock us out? did we lose to the winners? i'd take that too. made up for you all.

It’s going to take a while to sink in but we’ve actually fucking won something. I know the manager made changes like the hotel but this team compared to two years ago was night and day. We turned up today without emotion, it was a team of killers out there to win. Not a single player let themselves down today, they worked their balls off for each other. Absolutely delighted to see Dan Burn score the opener, a man who embodies what our club is and for me Joelinton was MotM. I just feel sorry for the rest of you cunts who don’t have a bank holiday tomorrow to sleep off the hangover.

The sun will be high in the sky, radiating off the top of Slot's massive dome shining a concentration of light onto Salah's weave setting it alight in a blaze of black smoke and toxic fumes. In a panic Salah will sprint into the stands grabbing what he believes is a bottle of Evian from a Geordie supporter in the crowd. He will mistakenly pour the bottle over his flaming hair plugs and will realise too late that the clear liquid inside the bottle is moonshine snuck in to avoid the £20 pints in Wembley. With his entire top half aflame, Salah will recall that the fire brigade used to visit his school and remember the stop, drop and roll technique. Rolling about, screaming as he does this. Allison sees the commotion and sprints over to Salah, palming at the flames with his shovel hands. However, his gloves are highly flammable and combust on contact with Salah. Now both players, engulfed in flame, are put out with a fire extinguisher by "Trent", who is immediately shown a red card for using the black label extinguisher instead of the foam extinguisher like a fucking idiot. With all players off the field the game commences, whereby Newcastle United dominate.....and still lose 2-0.

Shouldn't joke about these thiiiii A A A A R G H

Managed to lose my Toontastic account details for a while, just got back in, so here is my slightly delayed reaction to the final: Fucking get in!!!! I was expecting another anti-climactic 2-0 loss with barely a moment to shout for. But not only did the team show up, not only did they compete, but they gave a complete performance. Tactics, effort, quality, bravery, big boy balls - we even scored from a corner, that never happens, what a time to pull it all together! I’ve rewatched the match back in full including all the buildup and celebration afterwards; I’ve done the same with the commentary on 5 live (incidentally they had Isaac Hayden on throughout the match, spoke really well, had great things to say about Howe); I’m still hoovering up all the analysis Youtube can throw at me, podcasts, the radio Newcastle special. Haven’t got bored of it yet 🙂 I had a much longer version of this post, but it’s all stuff that’s been said more eloquently elsewhere, so I’ve trimmed down to keep my gushing at a minimum. Right, Youtube is telling me to watch some bloke called Adam Clery talk about the match, so I’ll go do that…

this bindipping cunt on rawk taking it exceptionally well....

After getting Blyth relegated I think I deserve some credit for not going to Wembley but watching it in the Strawberry instead. Well done me

Congrats Newcastle fans. City fans celebrated with you. We know what it feels like, from 2011. Next year the league title! But over City's dead body. Have a good night.

Newcastle win a trophy, Paddy's day tomorrow, class (oh aye, hope you're all keeping alright 😉)

I celebrated my 50th, 60th, 70th and 80th birthday in the last 15 minutes.

Yesterday my dad conspired to have a fall and smash his remaining good hip, so I'm in town all week to babysit my mother while the RVI works its magic. The one and only upside is I might be able to wangle an hour's time off to mosey on past Blue House Roundabout (not a euphemism... yet) and relive those 1993 glory days

And this is why AI can never replicate human brilliance.

The sheer enormity of what we achieved on Sunday is only just starting to land with me. It’s not just WHAT we did, it’s the manner in which we did it to get the monkey off our back that fills me with unmeasurable pride and emotion. - Beat the clubs in the top 4 English places. - Played the runaway league leaders in the final. - Ended this 70 year / 56 year hex. - Very much put to bed the argument that NUFC don’t turn up to finals. - Did it without Gordon, Botman & Hall. Any mitigation contrary fuckers could use to diminish what was achieved, we have an answer for. We didn’t win this through circumstance; we won it because we deserved it. It might sound trite to say so but I think it is a natural thing to think back to those you’ve lost at times like this. When I was stood there at Wembley on Sunday watching my club running round the pitch like I’ve enviously witnesses dozens and dozens of other clubs do so in the 40 years I’ve supported this club made me think of my Grandad who I lost in 1991, my Nan who I lost in 1996 and my Mam who I lost in 1997. All of them were forever willing NUFC to win something to put a smile on my face. So yeah, when that finally happened I looked up, pointed up and quietly said “we’ve done it at last!” This fucking club, man. It’s a privilege and a curse wrapped together to support it, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Player ratings (out of 10): Nick Pope: 10 Kieran Trippier: 11 Fabian Schär: 10 Dan Burn: 12 Tino Livramento: 11 Sandro Tonali: 12 Bruno Guimarães: 10 Joelinton: 12 Jacob Murphy: 10 Harvey Barnes: 10 Alexander Isak: 11

Back home after an unforgetable 61 hours. Absolutely awesome Went out for a quiet couple yesterday lunchtime, nine hours later crawled into my bed Still feeling a bit emotional. Love this team, love Eddie and Jason. Love all you daft bastards Sitting down with a medicinal couple of cans and about to do a full rewatch, as to be honest can't really remember much about the match

I’ve just had a glorious mackem encounter Not happy with me hauling 40 tonnes of paper from Kent, my lovely employers sent me to Seaham Docks when I got back, with a load of waste plastic. Pulled in and the yard gaffer was broad mackem… “ Here we fucken go!” Parked on my bay, asked if he watched the match? “ Whaaat?? Nay way marra, ah dinnit watch yay lot!” Perfect, this cunt has fell in to my trap! I dropped the old chestnut “ Oh, shame that like, outside of derbies I like to see all the north east teams do well…” I knew he’d pick up the scent of praise for his mob, and would be mine “ Reaylly? Yi watch The Lads?” ” Oh aye, I watched youse in the Pizza Hut final…” ” Papa John’s marra” ” Aye, that,, my takeaway from that was that your delivery in to the box was great!” I said this looking for any hint that he’d picked up the sarcasm… nowt. “ Reaylly, eee, that’s true like, we daiy “ ” Oh aye, you had hot wings there” Nowt. I pulled out of the yard like

You in the middle of your living room, doing this but with a plate of chips.

It’s touching to see that you got your inspiration for your home TV from the size of Mike Ashley’s concourse screens.

Im having this one

Gypsy curse breaker at less than 2 months old, get innnnn

Love you, lads. You deserve this. We deserve this. Safe travel to people in London today. Enjoy the night, the party. Enjoy with families and friends. We are Champions.

Apologies, but one more . Here is LTA.

Sweeeeet Arab hoop Saudis always taste so good

Sela's Spectacular Surprise had better not be a beheading mind. It would totally take the shine off.

Still a boring cunt.

TBH I think that’s photoshopped mate, it couldn’t have been him as hes out on loan in Italy somewhere 🤷🏻‍♂️

To absolutely dominate the media's suggestive best team in the world, was not a something I would ever have expected to see a few years ago. A gladitorial performance by many but for me Joelinton was MOTM. So many excellent performances (Burn, Tonali, Trips and Tino to name a few) but Joe was everywhere. His composure in the middle relieved us of pressure regularly, sprung attacks & he was horrible in every tackle. Stopped Liverpool being anything like the side they have been for months. The perfect game for Pope. You could see every ball was a long ball from Liverpool and while there weren't many knock ons (thanks BDB), any that fed through were mopped up by Pope. Outside of 1 save from Jones, had nothing else to do mind. Eddie Howe, take a bow. Words can't describe the effect your development and dedication to our football club has had on a generation of supporters. Thank you. Absolutely smashed on the champagne and loving every moment. Wonderul that so many of the players that helped project us to where we are now, have won something as a squad before the inevitability of upgrading begins in the summer. They will never leave our hearts. Savour all & have cracking respective evenings. Mon the maggies.

My (good) family at home were watching and celebrating too.

but, but, but…

All I wanted was to talk about my beloved club 😂 (ya stand up wiping gobshite)