Interesting article from the times

[Torres 0]

Why I was glad Ronaldo missed that penalty

Rod Liddle

 

I’ve tried to remember if there was some occurrence over the past two or three years that gave me more intense pleasure than Ronaldo missing that penalty against Barcelona on Wednesday night.

 

The birth of my daughter? The look of pleasure on the faces of my children when they awake to their presents on Christmas Day? Nope - nowhere near. This, you might argue, is the statement of a bitter and pathetic little man - but then “we are what we are”, as the Labour MP Ron Davies announced shortly after he’d been espied interfering with badgers in a wood near the M4 a few years back. Ronaldo’s faux-nonchalant, side-footed slice of a spot-kick provoked me to open a bottle of champagne I’d bought when Ashley Cole was caught out with some slapper a month or so ago, but in my euphoria had entirely forgotten about and left at the back of the fridge.

 

I was so happy I even thought about buying some Pringles and asking the neighbours round. And there was still plenty in the bottle to toast Cristiano’s fall-down-like-a-great-big-girlie-in-the-penalty-area routine half an hour later. If you were a referee, would you ever give Ronaldo a penalty, unless you actually saw the gun taken out of the holster and pointed at his head? As Sir Alex Ferguson has frequently pointed out, his little Portuguese moppet is often denied decisions which should rightly have gone his way; such was the case, I would reckon, against Barcelona (although in the good old days it would have been an indirect free kick at best).

 

There is, however, a perfectly logical reason for referees always to grin broadly and wave play to continue when Ronaldo collapses – he is known to have cheated, once or twice, so why take the risk of giving him a decision? The cheating stuff, Sir Alex, is not something we’ve all imagined out of a born antipathy to the man, even if, like me, we do have a born antipathy to the man. We’ve all seen it, and taken note, especially the refs.

 

There was a bit of fun to be had with poor John Arne Riise, too, and that fabulous diving, bullet-headed own goal, which immediately recalled to mind defenders of the calibre of Glenn Keeley. The pleasure here, however, was mediated by the fact that it meant Chelsea have a slightly better chance of progressing against Liverpool, an eventuality which, of course, nobody wants, least of all the TV companies.

 

Avram Grant’s Chelsea have become as dour as George Graham’s Arsenal and Don Revie’s Leeds and yet without either of those two sides’ defining, overwhelming competence. Grant’s appointment was supposedly intended to herald a new era of flamboyant attacking football – which indeed it did, for about a week and a half. More recently, though, they have become a luxury Taste The Difference version of Sam Allardyce’s Bolton Wanderers, all sharp elbows and carefully marshalled grit and with their own pouting, diving, sulky moppet up front in Didier Drogba. Referees are beginning to learn never to give him a penalty, either. Most neutrals, I suspect, hope that Liverpool prevail in the second leg; certainly I do, if only for their dignified and stoical fans and likeable manager. The Scousers have done themselves a lot of credit this season, lining up foursquare behind Rafa Benitez even when they were struggling to overcome Havant and Waterlooville and losing to the likes of Barnsley. They seem to have a sense of perspective and dignity on Merseyside, something which appears wholly absent among the arriviste legions at Stamford Bridge, who throw a hissy fit when the team drops a point at home, or against those perpetually deluded monkeys at St James’ Park.

 

Ronaldo’s misfortune aside, the first leg of Manchester United’s Champions League tie against Barcelona was an affair of almost perfect, exquisite boredom – as these first legs almost always are. They are like one of those early Harold Pinter plays where you know that nothing at all is going to happen and nothing indeed does happen, and you leave wondering why you turned up in the first place.

 

First shot on target in the 83rd minute. In these knockout stages the first leg always seems to end up either 0-0 or 1-1; they have become pointless exercises in advanced caution and tedium, a misery for the supporters. In the dystopian fiction 1984, George Orwell predicted a time when football would become quite pointless and fizzle out altogether, when the various teams had reached such a level of competence that they cancelled each other out, every game ending 0-0.

 

Orwell was motivated by a profound mistrust of all sport and, more to the point, was following the same sort of flawed logic which insists that because 100m sprint records nudge ever downwards year on year, there will inevitably come a time when the record will stand at 0 seconds. I am no logician, but I doubt we will ever reach that stage, no matter how many drugs they take.

 

Orwell’s dystopia has, however, arrived in the form of Champions League knockout stage first-leg ties. To state the obvious, they are played over two legs to maximise income and also to give each team a chance to play at home, but the team that plays at home in the first leg does not treat that match as a “home” game, in the normal sense of the word. They wish primarily not to concede. The away team, however, does adopt the usual away-team tactic of wishing not to concede and so you have a sort of terrible stalemate.

 

How can this anomaly be addressed by Uefa? You could abolish the away-goals-count-double rule for the second leg, thus placing an onus upon the teams to extend themselves with greater cavalier spirit in the first leg. Or I suppose you could simply insist that John Arne Riise plays in every first-leg tie, as a sort of wild card to be introduced as the game is quietly petering out.

[Asprilla 96]

Rod Liddle is a known cunt.

 

 

He's even on the official government register.

[Asprilla 96]

Just FYI....

[Asprilla 96]

 

 

You fancy him.

[Asprilla 96]

Torres + Liddle

 

= Love

[Tom 14013]

Fairly decent apart from the completely uncalled for attack on Newcastle.

[Torres 0]

Fairly decent apart from the completely uncalled for attack on Newcastle.

 

 

I agree. That was unnecessary and not why I posted it btw. I thought it was a good read from a neutral.

[peasepud 59]

or against those perpetually deluded monkeys at St James’ Park.

 

 

You were 20 miles too far north Liddle

[The Fish 10963]

Most neutrals, I suspect, hope that Liverpool prevail in the second leg; certainly I do, if only for their dignified and stoical fans and likeable manager.

 

Bollocks. Liverpool fans aren't dignified, stoic or likeable. They're jumped up divine righters who state there club is the best and without flaw, whine when they don't get there own way and complain everyone's out to get them, but then walk around shocked and appalled when people don't love them and their club.

[Torres 0]

Most neutrals, I suspect, hope that Liverpool prevail in the second leg; certainly I do, if only for their dignified and stoical fans and likeable manager.

 

Bollocks. Liverpool fans aren't dignified, stoic or likeable. They're jumped up divine righters who state there club is the best and without flaw, whine when they don't get there own way and complain everyone's out to get them, but then walk around shocked and appalled when people don't love them and their club.

 

....................and you in your wisdom think they are different from other fans

[Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0]

Most neutrals, I suspect, hope that Liverpool prevail in the second leg; certainly I do, if only for their dignified and stoical fans and likeable manager.

 

Bollocks. Liverpool fans aren't dignified, stoic or likeable. They're jumped up divine righters who state there club is the best and without flaw, whine when they don't get there own way and complain everyone's out to get them, but then walk around shocked and appalled when people don't love them and their club.

 

The media sucking liverpule cock? There's a surprise

[Fop 1]

Ronaldo could have every 50:50 decision go against him for the rest of his career (the rest of his life perhaps) and karmicly he'd still be owing big time, that much is true.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They seem to have a sense of perspective and dignity on Merseyside, something which appears wholly absent among the arriviste legions at Stamford Bridge, who throw a hissy fit when the team drops a point at home, or against those perpetually deluded monkeys at St James’ Park.

 

Is however a complete pile of Gemmil

 

Deluded about what exact?

[The Fish 10963]

Most neutrals, I suspect, hope that Liverpool prevail in the second leg; certainly I do, if only for their dignified and stoical fans and likeable manager.

 

Bollocks. Liverpool fans aren't dignified, stoic or likeable. They're jumped up divine righters who state there club is the best and without flaw, whine when they don't get there own way and complain everyone's out to get them, but then walk around shocked and appalled when people don't love them and their club.

 

....................and you in your wisdom think they are different from other fans

yes.

 

Liverpool fans are similar to fans of one other club and one other club alone. Everton. Basically it's the scouse mentality. I've mentioned before how they have this arrogance about their club, their fans, their city and everything Liverpool. While they whimper and whine that they're victims, the media hate them, the refs aren't fair to them, they're unlucky with injuries, etc. etc. etc.

 

I've met plenty of fans from other clubs, real fans too, not plastic supporters who buy a shirt and declare themselves fans despite never having set foot in the ground, never being their for the hard times, having no ties to the club other than an affection for apparent success. Man U, Chelsea, Arsenal, they all come in for stick about glory supporters, but Liverpool fans take the biscuit in my eyes.

 

If I chat with Villa fans they can be full throated in their support without acting like a delusional cock. They accept the flaws of their team and they are happy to engage in a real debate. Ditto for most real fans across the premiership, Chelsea, Man U and Arsenal included. But I've never met a Liverpool fan who wasn't so staggeringly blind to his clubs' flaws that every conversation reverts to "yeah but we've won it five times, what have you done."

 

basically torres, you're a perfect example of a Liverpool fan.

 

Not from Liverpool and (from what I've read on here) have no real ties tot he club. You expect people not to mind you sniping at our club and react with shock when sometimes draws attention to your clubs failings.

 

They don't have the best music, they don't have the best banter, they don't have the best team and they don't have the love and respect of the country. Basically, scousers are so far up themselves that they speak and shit out the same hole.

[Torres 0]

Most neutrals, I suspect, hope that Liverpool prevail in the second leg; certainly I do, if only for their dignified and stoical fans and likeable manager.

 

Bollocks. Liverpool fans aren't dignified, stoic or likeable. They're jumped up divine righters who state there club is the best and without flaw, whine when they don't get there own way and complain everyone's out to get them, but then walk around shocked and appalled when people don't love them and their club.

 

....................and you in your wisdom think they are different from other fans

yes.

 

Liverpool fans are similar to fans of one other club and one other club alone. Everton. Basically it's the scouse mentality. I've mentioned before how they have this arrogance about their club, their fans, their city and everything Liverpool. While they whimper and whine that they're victims, the media hate them, the refs aren't fair to them, they're unlucky with injuries, etc. etc. etc.

 

I've met plenty of fans from other clubs, real fans too, not plastic supporters who buy a shirt and declare themselves fans despite never having set foot in the ground, never being their for the hard times, having no ties to the club other than an affection for apparent success. Man U, Chelsea, Arsenal, they all come in for stick about glory supporters, but Liverpool fans take the biscuit in my eyes.

 

If I chat with Villa fans they can be full throated in their support without acting like a delusional cock. They accept the flaws of their team and they are happy to engage in a real debate. Ditto for most real fans across the premiership, Chelsea, Man U and Arsenal included. But I've never met a Liverpool fan who wasn't so staggeringly blind to his clubs' flaws that every conversation reverts to "yeah but we've won it five times, what have you done."

basically torres, you're a perfect example of a Liverpool fan.

 

Not from Liverpool and (from what I've read on here) have no real ties tot he club. You expect people not to mind you sniping at our club and react with shock when sometimes draws attention to your clubs failings.

 

They don't have the best music, they don't have the best banter, they don't have the best team and they don't have the love and respect of the country. Basically, scousers are so far up themselves that they speak and shit out the same hole.

 

 

It`s true though, we have won it 5 times. Chatting to Villa fans lacks ambition

 

You are a very bitter man.

[The Fish 10963]

It`s true though, we have won it 5 times. Chatting to Villa fans lacks ambition

 

You are a very bitter man.

 

 

You're a fucking cartoon torres. I'm not bitter at all, I can chat to fans of any club in the world without getting annoyed, any outside the Mersey that is. You're all just twatfull, that's all. If you could admit that, people would find you so much more palatable.

 

P.s. how does chatting to Villa fans lack ambition? I didn't know there was a leader board with regards to conversations? Am I only to converse with Chelsea and Man U and Tottenham fans as they're the only clubs likely to win owt this year?.. surely you're lacking ambition by talking to lowly Newcastle fans... you utterly contemptuous cockend

Edited April 27, 2008 by The Fish

[Torres 0]

It`s true though, we have won it 5 times. Chatting to Villa fans lacks ambition

 

You are a very bitter man.

 

 

You're a fucking cartoon torres. I'm not bitter at all, I can chat to fans of any club in the world without getting annoyed, any outside the Mersey that is. You're all just twatfull, that's all. If you could admit that, people would find you so much more palatable.

 

P.s. how does chatting to Villa fans lack ambition? I didn't know there was a leader board with regards to conversations? Am I only to converse with Chelsea and Man U and Tottenham fans as they're the only clubs likely to win owt this year?.. surely you're lacking ambition by talking to lowly Newcastle fans... you utterly contemptuous cockend

 

I would rather watch paint dry that chat to Villa fans, boring club, boring fans. You are also a very rude man, really rude. Has life treated you so badly?

 

 

I like Newcastle fans and that`s why I chat to them. (Sorry if the word "like" proves emotionally unsettling).

[Tom 14013]

Aston Villa : One European Cup

Most clubs in Europe : No European cups

 

They have just had some boring Premiership years that's all.

[Torres 0]

Aston Villa : One European Cup

Most clubs in Europe : No European cups

 

They have just had some boring Premiership years that's all.

 

Yeah I know, but even their kit is boring. Only Fulham, Derby and Birmingham bore me more.

[The Fish 10963]

Do you apply that logic to all fans? Because surely then, by that reasoning, Chelsea fans should be dull and keep saying the same thing until you accede to their point, Man U fans should be exciting and quite attractive, Arsenal fans should be great at foreplay, Blackburn fans are thugs and Fulham fans heartless.

 

I find individual people have individual characters on the whole, the only exceptions are chavs and scousers. Carbon copies of each other.

[Torres 0]

Do you apply that logic to all fans? Because surely then, by that reasoning, Chelsea fans should be dull and keep saying the same thing until you accede to their point, Man U fans should be exciting and quite attractive, Arsenal fans should be great at foreplay, Blackburn fans are thugs and Fulham fans heartless.

 

I find individual people have individual characters on the whole, the only exceptions are chavs and scousers. Carbon copies of each other.

 

 

Monkey logic.

[Tom 14013]

Aston Villa : One European Cup

Most clubs in Europe : No European cups

 

They have just had some boring Premiership years that's all.

 

Yeah I know, but even their kit is boring. Only Fulham, Derby and Birmingham bore me more.

 

I think they have played decent football at times and they have won quite a lot.

 

You could still say their fans are fairly poor which would be true. One of the main reasons people find Villa boring is because they are of little consequence to anyone, no real rivalry.

 

You could say Birmingham are there rivals but it is simply untrue.

 

Aston Villa : One European Cup, Seven League titles, 7 F.A Cups and 5 League cups.

 

Birmingham : One League cup

[The Fish 10963]

Do you apply that logic to all fans? Because surely then, by that reasoning, Chelsea fans should be dull and keep saying the same thing until you accede to their point, Man U fans should be exciting and quite attractive, Arsenal fans should be great at foreplay, Blackburn fans are thugs and Fulham fans heartless.

 

I find individual people have individual characters on the whole, the only exceptions are chavs and scousers. Carbon copies of each other.

 

 

Monkey logic.

[Park Life 71]

Most neutrals, I suspect, hope that Liverpool prevail in the second leg; certainly I do, if only for their dignified and stoical fans and likeable manager.

 

Bollocks. Liverpool fans aren't dignified, stoic or likeable. They're jumped up divine righters who state there club is the best and without flaw, whine when they don't get there own way and complain everyone's out to get them, but then walk around shocked and appalled when people don't love them and their club.

 

....................and you in your wisdom think they are different from other fans

yes.

 

Liverpool fans are similar to fans of one other club and one other club alone. Everton. Basically it's the scouse mentality. I've mentioned before how they have this arrogance about their club, their fans, their city and everything Liverpool. While they whimper and whine that they're victims, the media hate them, the refs aren't fair to them, they're unlucky with injuries, etc. etc. etc.

 

I've met plenty of fans from other clubs, real fans too, not plastic supporters who buy a shirt and declare themselves fans despite never having set foot in the ground, never being their for the hard times, having no ties to the club other than an affection for apparent success. Man U, Chelsea, Arsenal, they all come in for stick about glory supporters, but Liverpool fans take the biscuit in my eyes.

 

If I chat with Villa fans they can be full throated in their support without acting like a delusional cock. They accept the flaws of their team and they are happy to engage in a real debate. Ditto for most real fans across the premiership, Chelsea, Man U and Arsenal included. But I've never met a Liverpool fan who wasn't so staggeringly blind to his clubs' flaws that every conversation reverts to "yeah but we've won it five times, what have you done."

basically torres, you're a perfect example of a Liverpool fan.

 

Not from Liverpool and (from what I've read on here) have no real ties tot he club. You expect people not to mind you sniping at our club and react with shock when sometimes draws attention to your clubs failings.

 

They don't have the best music, they don't have the best banter, they don't have the best team and they don't have the love and respect of the country. Basically, scousers are so far up themselves that they speak and shit out the same hole.

 

 

It`s true though, we have won it 5 times. Chatting to Villa fans lacks ambition

 

You are a very bitter man.

 

The jews are bitter you lot won't return their teeth.

[Gemmill 46008]

Can someone tell me what was interesting about that article please?

[peasepud 59]

Can someone tell me what was interesting about that article please?

 

Its written by a tosser who is known for hating Geordies.